


Lina's Girls

by QueenHimiko



Series: Ceiphied's Curse [5]
Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, Family Issues, Family Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-08-22 12:40:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16598111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenHimiko/pseuds/QueenHimiko
Summary: As Lina ushers her daughters into adulthood, keeping the family secret becomes more difficult. A prequel to The Red Shadow (originally titled Beneath the Portrait), Jealousy, The Storm, and Fate.





	1. The Moth Don't Care When He Sees the Flame, He Might Get Burned but He's in the Game

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own "The Slayers", I just play in the sandbox. Chapter title is from "The Moth" by Aimee Mann (it's been a long time since I've done song lyrics as chapter titles!). Anyway, while reviewing my earlier fics for my final work in this series I realized that there were still a few unanswered questions I wouldn't be able to resolve in that one shot. So this fic came in mind as a way to answer them, a sort of a twisted "Slayers" meets "Little Women" type thing. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

“We’ve got company!” Gourry announced as he came in through the door.

Initially Lina was excited, and she looked up from the meal she was putting the finishing touches on to see who he had brought home with him, hoping to see a family friend, or perhaps even some of Gourry’s extended family who occasionally passed through Zefiel City. But when she turned and saw that her husband had brought home some street urchin Lina felt her stomach drop. How could he!? More importantly, how could she have married someone so idiotic that he would be completely oblivious to the danger that he had just brought into this home!? 

Lina’s daughters raced to the door to greet their father and the newcomer. The young, male, down on his luck newcomer who, despite his raggedy, dirty clothing, was entirely too attractive for her daughters’ own good. His brown eyes were a striking contrast to his fair colored hair, and his skin was nicely tanned. But it was the expression on his face, a mix of hard luck along with a defiant refusal to succumb to tragedy as he barely managed to conceal the shame of his situation that would have evoked a desire even within her hardened heart to give him a loving home to shelter him…had she not had three daughters. Three teenage daughters. 

This was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. 

“This is Kenneth.” Gourry said as he put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. No, Lina decided she better start thinking of him in terms of the danger that he was. He was no boy. He was a young man. “I’m going to give him sword lessons and help him secure a position as a royal guard.”

It wasn’t the first time Gourry had done this. No, every few years he would bring in some hard on his luck adolescent to rescue him. It had always bothered Lina. Especially now that her girls were the ages they were. Seventeen, fifteen and twelve. Already Dianna, the oldest, was appraising Kenneth like a cat toying with a mouse while blush crept into their youngest, Attie’s, cheeks. Min, at least, seemed immune even as she smiled politely. But then Min, thankfully, had high expectations for a future husband, and someone dragged off the street and consigned to the life of a royal bodyguard would be far below her standards. And fortunately, given the way that young Drake Cecil had been calling on her lately, her affections seemed to lie elsewhere.

“Kenneth, these are my girls, Dianna, Minny…”

“Min.” Min interrupted him even as she softened it with a hug. “I outgrew of Minny years ago.”

“Min, and Attie.” Gourry said proudly as he wrapped his arms around them, “And over there is my wife, Lina.”

Lina glared at Gourry, but she couldn’t exactly turn the boy out now. “I suppose you invited him over for supper.”

“There’s always room for one more.” Gourry said happily as he ignored the glower she was favoring him with.

“Go ahead and wash up, then.” Lina said with a sigh. As Gourry showed Kenneth where the water pump was, Lina grabbed Dianna’s arm and held it tightly. “Behave.”

Dianna smiled mirthlessly, “You shouldn’t worry so much, Mom.”

Lina shook her head. This was not good. Dianna had a shard of Shabranigdu in her soul and all of the evil tendencies that could be expected with housing such a thing. Keeping her fighting for her humanity was a constant struggle, as was keeping the secret of who she housed in her soul from the rest of the world. “I mean it, Di.”

“Don’t worry,” she said as she started setting the plates on the table, “I like him.”

She then turned and flashed that smile to Lina, a smile that told her plainly that Dianna was playing at a game that she could only guess at. Lina’s stomach flopped as she said. “That’s why I worry.”

Min grabbed the roast and moved to set it on the table as Gourry came back in with Kenneth. “You can go ahead and sit here.” Min told Kenneth as she held open a seat, and Lina felt her heart sink as Dianna sat down beside him.

Meanwhile, Gourry came up to give her a kiss hello. She extended her cheek begrudgingly as she murmured, “You and me are going to have a talk later.”

“Would it be better if I just go?” Kenneth asked quietly, and to her embarrassment she realized she’d spoken too loudly and had found herself put oddly on the spot.

Lina sighed, “Despite what you may have heard of me, I’m not that heartless. Go ahead, dig in.”

“Really, if it’s a problem…” he started.

“Nonsense!” Dianna exclaimed as she grabbed the bread basket and held it in front of him, “There’s more than enough for everyone. These are store bought so they’re probably the best thing on this table I’m afraid. Mom is many things but a great cook is not one of them and she gets a bit embarrassed when people have to eat her cooking.”

“Thank you.” He said as he grabbed a roll and put it on his plate as everyone else sat down for supper. “And I really am grateful. I’ll eat anything, no matter how bad it is!”

There was a time when Lina would have wanted to smack Dianna, but Lina could take it as long as the jabs were at her and not one of her sisters. And while Lina was resolved to letting him stay for dinner, she was not reconciled at all to the way he was glancing at Dianna. She needed to do something to illustrate to her daughter that it would not be a good idea to pursue him, so she asked, “Hey Kenneth, what did you try to pilfer from my parents’ store?”

Kenneth jumped to his feet as he yelled, “What are you accusing me of!?”

Lina’s eyes widened. She was completely unprepared for how angry the question made him! But hopefully if she provoked him a bit more it could prove her point?

But Gourry was quick to put a hand on Kenneth’s arm, “Usually when I bring someone home it’s because they tried to rob the store. Lina’s just being protective. Kenneth wasn’t stealing, he asked for a job so he could buy some food.”

“That’s rather industrious of you.” Min said as Dianna gently put a hand on Kenneth’s other arm, and as Lina watched as the sparks flew between them, she realized that her plan had just backfired spectacularly. 

_Damn!_

“And he worked hard unloading some shipments that came in.” Gourry added.

“Well, I bet you worked up the appetite!” Min said, “Try the roast, despite what Di says, it’s one of the few dishes Mom is able to pull off well.”

“Please sit back down,” Dianna added, “I’d like to get to know you better. After awhile you just learn to tune Mom out.”

Kenneth sat back down and tried the roast, “This is very good.”

“It’s not half bad.” Dianna agreed.

“You try working all day and then getting home and cooking something decent!” Lina yelled, in a thoroughly sour mood by now.

“That’s why I’m going to be rich enough to hire a cook!” Min said chipperly.

“With a face like that it shouldn’t be too hard to find a sugar daddy.” Dianna said deviously. “It’s the only thing you have going for you.”

Min blushed as Kenneth grinned despite himself while Attie’s face lost its color. Meanwhile, Lina stepped on Dianna’s foot even as she bit her tongue. Years of terrible fights with Dianna had taught her it was best to let Gourry handle it. Quietly he asked, “How appropriate was that?”

“Oh, it wasn’t.” Dianna said, “But I couldn’t resist. I am so sorry, Min. Now that I think of it you are a decent enough sorceress.”

Min glared at her, and then stood up, “Mom, I wasn’t planning to make the announcement until later, but I was one of the sorceresses that Madame Eleanora chose to introduce to the Eternal Queen at the Festival Ball.”

Dianna dropped her fork with the announcement. The Festival Ball was rather exclusive to the nobility and the wealthy. Only the exceptionally talented were given an invitation to hobnob with them. All of their girls had dreamed of wowing someone with their talents one day and being invited, even if they considered it a pipe dream. Min, it appeared, had taken it far more seriously than they had ever realized.

“Fortunately I’ve been saving the money I’ve earned working as a library clerk for just such an occasion. Is it alright if I run to the dressmaker to put my order in?”

“You really think they’ll be open this late?” Lina asked, “Honestly, Min, that ball is four months away! You can put it in tomorrow, when you’ll have time to be properly measured.”

Min grinned, and then she stared at Dianna, “Yes, I guess preparations for the most important dress I’ll ever wear will have to wait for one more day. Keep that in mind the next time you suggest that all I am is my beauty.”

Dianna was now rather red faced as she grasped her fork tightly as her muscles clenched, and Lina looked across the table at Gourry as they worried about what form Dianna’s retaliation would take. Part of Lina wanted to take Min aside and ask her what she was thinking, provoking Dianna like that. Yet Lina also had to admit, if she had been in Min’s shoes, she would have snapped long before now. Meanwhile, Min continued, “I’d still like to go out tonight. Drake got some new horses and he’d like to take me riding.”

“Is your homework done?” Lina asked.

“Of course.”

“Have fun, then.”

“Thank you.” Min said.

Lina turned to Attie, and decided to navigate things to a safer topic, “How was school?”

“The same as always.” Attie replied as she poked at her food. “The exam to get my color status was set for two weeks.”

“You’ll do fine.” Lina said, “I’ll walk you through what to expect.”

Fortunately the conversation was safer after that point, even if Dianna seethed through it. Well, Lina decided, if Dianna wasn’t going to be turned off Kenneth hopefully her sulking would turn Kenneth off her!

As the dinner plates were cleared away, Min approached Kenneth and said, “You know, I was sorting through Dad’s clothes the other day and set aside some outfits to give away. They may be a bit big for you, but…”

“I don’t need handouts.” Kenneth flared.

“Take them.” Gourry said, “You’ll need some good clothes on your back when you apply to be a guard.”

“I’ll get there on my own.”

“There’s no shame in getting a leg up.” Min said, “Getting ahead is all about the connections that you make.”

“And what would you know about that, Min?” Dianna asked. “Something must have tilted Madame Eleanora’s opinion of you in your favor.”

“Hey Di,” Attie said, “I need your help with that report to the guild I’m working on.”

“Oh, can it wait?” Dianna asked, “We’ve got a guest.”

“It’s due tomorrow, and you know I’m no good with writing!”

“Fine,” Dianna said, and Lina silently thanked Attie for diverting her.

“I’m going to go ahead and show Kenneth the basics anyway.” Gourry said.

“Thank goodness.” Lina said. What she left unsaid was, “get him out of here, and never bring him back!”

* * *

As Lina walked through the house after everyone had gone to bed, she checked to make sure that the door to Dianna’s room was locked. Lina hated how barbaric it felt to lock her in, but given Dianna’s desires to hurt others they’d had to do it to protect the younger children. And given that Min had now provoked Dianna’s jealousy, Lina knew that they needed to be on guard. At least Min was strong enough to protect herself from Dianna now, but everyone was vulnerable as they slept.

Of course, a locked door wouldn’t stop Dianna if she really wanted to cause harm.

Lina pushed the thought aside and walked into her bedroom. Gourry was sitting on the bed, humming to himself as he polished his boots. Lina went up and smacked the backside of his thick head. “What the hell were you thinking?” she demanded.

“That I could help?” Gourry replied coolly.

“Never offer help if it’s going to disadvantage you! Did you see how well he was getting on with Dianna?”

“Come on, Lina! They’re at that age.” He replied, “We can’t stop her from growing up.”

“Surely you can’t think that it’s a good idea for Dianna to get romantically involved with him?” Lina said incredulously.

“No,” he replied, “But telling her she’s not allowed to see Kenneth will just make her want to see him more, won’t it?”

“That’s why you shouldn’t have brought him home in the first place! You damn well brought an apple pie home, and she’s going to eat him alive!”

“Lina, if it’s not Kenneth it’s going to be someone else.”

“Not anyone local, they’re all too scared of her.” Lina replied.

“He’ll hear the rumors soon enough, and then he’ll run.”

“And that could be what sets her off.” Lina said as she sat down on the bed beside him, her heart in her throat. “If this rivalry with Min doesn’t.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, but she batted him away. “I’m still mad at you!”

“You shouldn’t work so hard to change things you can’t control,” he said, “Just prepare yourself for the fallout.”

“Oh, I’m prepared.” Lina said darkly as she struggled against her tears. She had joined the guild years ago to research spells that would kill Dianna should she ever merge with Shabranigdu to destroy the world, “And since you aren’t the one who would have to deliver the killing blow if that happens, then forgive me for wanting to make sure that doesn’t come to pass.”

“That’s not what I want either!” he said, “And I don’t think it will come to that. All I’m saying is that…”

“That you’ll think more carefully before you take some pretty young man home with you!” Lina snapped. “The damage is already done with Kenneth, and if we get through this I want to make sure that there won’t be a next time! Because I have to plan how I would kill her every time I go into work! And I don’t need you bringing me closer to that!”

Gourry shook his head as he held his hands up, “Fine.”

“I mean it! We’ve got enough on our plate keeping this family from imploding to worry about helping others! I don’t need you bringing in kindling!”

“You don’t need to remind me.” He said, “I wasn’t thinking…”

“And if you even try to pull a dopey, I forget act…”

He folded is arms across his chest as he scowled as he asked, “Is there anything else?”

She glared at him for a moment, then she softened her stance, even though her belly continued to ache. “Talk to Di.”

“Huh?”

“That ball Min is going to. It’s going to set her off, and I don’t know what she’ll do to Min to retaliate. Sis doesn’t get these things at all and I wouldn’t trust her with this conversation, but I’m sure you can see why it would be important to her, and you’re the one who’s best with reaching her. I mean Di and I would be screaming at each other in five seconds flat if I tried.”

“I’ll talk to her.” He said. “In fact, I’ll go see if she’s still up.”

Lina nodded as he stood up. Then she said quickly as she grabbed his hand, “You do always end up reminding me why I’m glad to have you around. Even if you are an idiot.”

He swooped down to kiss the crown of her head, though the tension still filled the air between them. “Thanks for telling me. I’ll be back.”

* * *

The light was still on in Dianna’s room. Gourry knocked and then unlocked it when she said, “Come in.”

She was sitting at her desk as she wrote, still in her day clothes. “What?” she asked.

“I wanted to check in. See how you are doing with Min’s news.”

Dianna shook her head, “Honestly I’m way too preoccupied with my job interview tomorrow to give a silly ball much thought. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m reviewing what I will say.”

Gourry peered over her shoulder to see what she was writing and she sighed and shoved it at him, “Happy now?”

He skimmed through it, and saw that it was notes about white healing magic as she continued, “Honestly I’ve not had a bad outburst in years! That you don’t trust me…”

“I trust you. I don’t trust Shabranigdu.” Gourry said.

“I won’t let him gain control!” she persisted, “I can control him now!”

“Let’s keep it that way.”

“If you don’t think I’m strong enough…”

“You’ve proven you’re strong enough, but we can’t get complacent. And look, your mom is terrified about something bad happening to you, so help me reassure her. She worries about you so.” Dianna was silent as she stared at her desk, and Gourry put a hand on her knee, “Look, I’m glad you’re taking your interview tomorrow so seriously. But I don’t believe that you’re not upset about that ball. Help me think of something to say to your mother when I go back to my bedroom.”

Dianna sighed, “Well, perhaps I am a little upset.” She conceded, “But I swear I’m putting my energies to good use! Perhaps if I distinguish myself as a midwife I’ll get my own invitation. It’s still a few months away.”

“I want to believe that Di.”

“Then everything is good.” She said.

“What if you don’t get to go though?”

“Then there’s always next year.” Dianna said.

Gourry was silent for a moment. “I want to believe that, but I need more reassurance than that.”

“I’m not going to hurt Min!” Dianna insisted, “I control him so much better now! If I get the urge I’ll leave the room, I’ll go to the woods, I promise. Really, I’m not thinking of hurting her!”

He grabbed her hand, “No. Come tell me if you get the urge to hurt her. First thing. No matter what is happening, I will drop everything.”

“I know. Now, I need to get back to preparing for this interview tomorrow.”

Gourry nodded as he observed her. He wanted to believe that they had been successful enough with her that they had gotten to a point where her jealousy could be provoked and she would not feel the need to hurt whoever had unleashed it. And they had been successful in smaller instances, but nothing this large. This would definitely be a test. For now, what more was there to do than to trust her while sleeping with one eye open? He stood up and kissed the crown of her head, “Good luck.”


	2. Don't Lose Sight of Who You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title from "I'm Not That Girl" from "Wicked."

Lina woke to the sounds of Min and Attie squabbling as they got ready for the day. Relieved that Dianna had not struck in the night, Lina reached back to pat the bed beside her and found that Gourry had already gotten up. She sat up and grabbed her robe and walked out of her room and found Gourry clearing away the breakfast dishes. “Morning!” Gourry said when he noticed she was up.

As they had made it through the night with no meltdowns, Lina decided it was time to forgive him. Especially as he had gotten up early to make a good breakfast! She walked up and wrapped her arms around him and then stood on her toes to give him a kiss, “Looks delicious.”

“Thanks,” he said as he took a moment to run his hand through her hair, “The girls have all eaten. There should be enough left for you. I’ve got to run. Yearly inventory.”

“Tell my folks I said ‘hi!’” Lina said as she went and kissed Dianna on the cheek. For a moment Lina wondered if she should compliment Dianna on her restraint for not attacking them all in the night, but she settled instead for giving her a longer hug than usual. That Dianna hadn’t lashed out in a jealous rage over the ball was an encouraging sign, but Lina couldn’t quite let her guard fully down. 

“I will,” Gourry said as he finished his orange juice, “And Di, good luck on your interview!”

“I’ll stop in on the store before I go.” Dianna said, “See you!”

Lina started to load up her plate as she sat down. The nice thing about being the boss was that she could come into work whenever she damn well pleased so long as she produced results, and Lina took full advantage of it in the morning. And, dim as Gourry could be at times, she did have to admit fixing breakfast was a good idea on his part. It gave her a reason to hang around in the house during the morning to ensure that Dianna didn’t cause trouble without making it look as though that was the reason she was doing it. While Min was big and strong enough to protect herself from Dianna now, Lina didn’t like to take any chances.

Dianna sat down with her at the table sipping coffee as she perused a book while Min and Attie got ready. Lina thought about grilling her to see if she was ready for her interview, “Have you prepared enough for your interview? Do you need me to throw some mock questions your way?”

“It’s all under control.” Dianna said as she turned a page in her book.

From Min and Atties’ room Lina heard Attie ask, “Can you show me how you do your hair like that?” Somehow Min had developed a talent for coaxing her long hair into elaborate up dos.

Min sighed in aggravation, “Perhaps if you took more care in your appearance I would. Honestly Attie, the morning has barely begun and your tunic is covered in coffee stains. You’re a hopeless slob!”

Dianna bit her lip as she stood up, and Lina felt herself go on alert. While Dianna had been bitterly jealous of Min from the moment she was born, she was fiercely protective of Attie. Lina got to her feet as Min emerged from the room, looking way more beautiful than anyone had any business to so early in the morning. “Worried that Attie will give you a run for your money if you spill your secrets?” Dianna asked.

Min glared at her, “I’ve got more important things to worry about.” 

And then she walked around her and out of the house. Lina breathed a sigh of relief as Dianna walked into the room that Attie and Min shared. With Min gone Lina briefly debated getting dressed and going to work. Dianna was seldom cruel to Attie. And like all of their daughters, Attie had hit her growth spurt early and had likely reached her full height at the age of twelve like the other two had, so she was roughly Dianna’s height. Still, Attie was Lina’s baby. So Lina stayed close as Dianna said, “Living so close to such a perfect creature sure sucks.”

“At least you don’t have to share a room with her!” Attie replied.

“Look, we may not be able to manage the fancy updos, but we can look better than she does and we can be smart about it and save time.”

“Huh?” Attie said.

“Look, get a fresh tunic on. Take this one for instance. The color works so well with your complexion it will look like you’re wearing make up, and you’ll have saved a ton of time by not having to apply it like Min does. So now all you have to worry about it keeping it clean.”

“That’s easy for you. You’re so graceful.” Attie said.

Dianna sighed, “Most people are awkward at your age. I was come to think of it. You’ll grow out of it. You might want to don fresh clothes after breakfast, not sure what we’ll do after lunch though. But we’ll work something out. Now, for the hair. I don’t know why Min wastes so much time tossing it to gravity defying feats, we were rather blessed here. I could braid it for you, get it out of your face, and then tomorrow it will be extra curly if you get it a little damp in the evening and let it dry overnight. At least your hair will hold a curl. And I know Min sure wishes hers did!”

Attie laughed a little, “Do it!” 

Lina relaxed as she went into her room to change as Dianna got Attie ready. As soon as Lina stepped out of her room she was nearly bowled over by Attie, who had raced to hug her, looking rather pretty in a pale green tunic and with her hair expertly braided. “Have a good day, Mom!”

“You too.” Lina said.

Attie raced out of the house as Dianna came out of the room. Lina smiled at her and put an arm around her, “Thank you. I know Min can get a little high strung at times, and it’s hard living in your sister’s shadow.”

“You were able to get away from Aunt Luna.” Dianna pointed out.

“But I didn’t have another imperfect sister to commiserate with.” Lina stroked her hair, “You have been doing such a good job of controlling him lately.”

“I keep telling you, he’s not going to be a problem anymore.” Dianna said sharply, “Your perfect sister taught me perfectly well how to control him. When are you going to believe that?”

“Dianna, you’re so young. And we have no way of knowing what life will throw at you.”

“Just you watch. Whatever is thrown in my path, I can handle it! Shabranigdu is completely under my control now, and that’s how it’s going to stay!”

Lina decided to back off and talk to Luna and Gourry and see if they could reach her. The last thing she wanted to do was to fight with her before her big interview. “Right then. I have to head off for work. Good luck today!”

* * *

Dianna grinned as she found Kenneth high on a ladder, his back towards her and unaware that she was even there. She grabbed the rungs and shook them a bit, and he cried out in shock but somehow managed to hang on as she laughed. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked.

“You sure should see the look on your face!” Dianna said. And then she held out a small box she had wrapped in a napkin, “I brought you lunch.”

He wiped the sweat from his brow as he started to climb down, “How did you find me?”

“I stopped by my grandparents’ store and asked my dad where you would be. He told me he’d gotten you a day job cleaning out the Carter’s barn.” Dianna explained, “Come on. You’re owed a break.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to break my neck next time.” He said as his feet touched the ground.

“Hey, I can cast Resurrection.” Dianna said as she sat on some hay and patted the spot beside her, “Even if I broke every single bone in your body I could heal you in about an hour.”

He looked at her warily and didn’t sit down, “Is that a threat?”

“It’s a fact, nothing more.” Dianna said as she smiled, “And don’t worry. I don’t want to break your bones. I want to share my lunch with you. Don’t worry, I’m a better cook than my mom. You are so filthy though. I guess that happens when you work hard. Anyway, you don’t want to eat lunch while covered in horse shit. Aqua Create!”

Kenneth cried out as he was doused in water. Dianna laughed as he looked confused and he wiped his face. “Well, at least I’m clean now.” He conceded as he broke into a small smile. 

“Here,” she said as she handed him a towel.

“Thanks,” he said as he started to towel off, and Dianna watched him hungrily. “I’m not sure if you’re quite sane, but you may be useful to have around.”

He sat down beside her and Dianna unpacked their lunch and handed him a sandwich, “Now that your hands are clean, you may eat.”

He looked at her warily, “Is this where you try to worm out of me how I got to this point?”

“That’s really no concern of mine, is it?” Dianna asked, and he softened a little. “If you don’t want to tell me something, then don’t. My parents taught me to mind my business.”

“Thanks,” he said as he grabbed the sandwich she had offered, “I’m not complaining. I am grateful. Still, I don’t know why your family is being so nice to me.”

Dianna shrugged, “Dad always says he could have ended up on the streets if he’d not had a positive male influence in his life. And he likes to help others like he was helped. Min likes how it feeds into her image to help those who are less fortunate. She’s ambitious like that. And Attie is just the soul of human goodness.”

“What about you?” Kenneth asked as he took a bite of the sandwich. 

Dianna smiled cryptically, “You’re going to hear a lot of horrible things about me.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I was a horrible little girl.” Dianna said.

“We all do stupid things when we’re kids.”

Dianna chuckled, “Most kids didn’t do the things I did when I was little. If you ask around town you’ll hear all sorts of wretched things about me. It’s only a matter of time before you learn all of the sordid details.”

Kenneth stared at her as though he wasn’t sure if he should believe her or not. “Like what?”

She smiled at him as she sat her water jug down, “I won’t ask you how you came to this point, if you won’t ask me about my crimes. All I can say is I’m a different person now. I worked so hard at it too, becoming a better person. You’re going to hear a lot about me, and a lot of it is true. But I’ve changed and I control my anger a lot better now. But people are slow to forgive, to see all of the changes I’ve made. So all I ask is that you judge me by who I am now, and not the naughty girl I was.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked.

She ran a hand through her long, blond hair and said, “Because I like you. And if you like me then I want you to know that there are some things about me you will never know, that will always be hidden. My past is not something to revisit. My present and future is what matters.”

He stared at her in shock, and she laughed a little, “I’m coming on strong, aren’t I? Look, I figure it’s best to be upfront. You’re going to hear it all eventually. I wouldn’t blame you if you ran, most people would. If you want to give it a chance, though, those are the terms.”

“I have nothing to offer you, though.” He said, “I own nothing.”

“I’m not wanting anything material.” Dianna said. “I want someone who doesn’t know who I was. And given the size of this town, that person is you. And lucky for me, I think we’ll get along. With Dad’s help you’ll get that job, and I’m about to go for an interview for a midwifery position. Together that will be enough to support ourselves.”

“You’re moving so fast!”

“Hey, if we decide we aren’t compatible along the way it will be no hard feelings. But sometimes you look at someone, and you know that they’re the person that you are meant to be with. And when I saw you, I knew.” Dianna smiled a little, “A chorus of angels rang in my head the moment I saw you. It has to mean something.”

Kenneth looked at her as though he was wondering what the catch was as she said, “Did you like your lunch?”

“It was delicious. Best meal I’ve had since I can remember, actually.” He said. “Who taught you?”

“My aunt, Luna.” Dianna explained as she stood up. “Now I’m about to go in for my interview. Do you want to give me a kiss for luck or save that until later?”

He blushed, and she ran her fingers through his hair. “You are adorable! Just wish me luck, then. I’ll see you tonight!”

“Good luck.” He said. She turned around and started to walk away. He’d let her go a good distance when he cried, “Dianna?”

She turned around to look at him, “Yes?”

He walked closer to her, “It’s not that I’m not very interested. Your family has been kind. Your mother is a legend and I’d have no doubt many people would want to marry into it. And you yourself are stunning. But I’m wondering, what’s the catch? This feels too good to be true, and after everything I’ve been through I can’t trust that the fairytale ending is in sight.”

“There’s no catch, silly.” Dianna said with a smile, “But I can’t blame you for thinking that there is one. I’ll see you tonight!”

* * *

Dianna did her best to hide her nerves as she sat across from the head midwife, Julienne. So far Julienne had grilled her on her knowledge of White Magic and midwifery, and Dianna had felt as though she had been proficient with her answers. But she could also sense Julienne’s hesitancy. And as the older woman took a deep breath, Dianna braced herself for some choppy waters. “You were rather highly recommended by Monica Joan.” Julienne said.

“I am honored that she thinks so highly of me.” Dianna replied.

“To be honest, the only reason that you were granted this interview was because she states that your talent is extraordinary and unlike any that she has seen.”

“Thank you.” Dianna said as she sensed a “but” coming.

“But,” Julienne said, “There are some rather disquieting rumors about you.”

Dianna’s hands grasped her knees as Julienne continued, “My niece recalls times where you choked other students, flew into violent rages, beat other children up. She states that many people her age are terrified of you.”

“I’m afraid that when I was a child I had a bad rage within me,” Dianna said, “My parents and my Aunt Luna helped me learn to control it. I’ve not flown into a rage for three years and it won’t ever happen again.”

“That may be, and I am glad that you have been so successful in controlling it,” Julienne said, “But when a woman is delivering a baby it is absolutely paramount that she be able to trust her midwife. It is such a vulnerable time and if she’s worried that the person delivering her is unsteady or liable to attack, then she won’t feel safe enough to deliver.”

“Right now, people my age are only just starting to settle down and have babies.” Dianna said, “Let me deliver the older women. They won’t know the rumors about me so much, let me prove myself there.”

“How do I know you won’t fly into a rage?”

“Because I was taught better ways.” Dianna said, “Taking a moment to catch my breath, finding safe places to channel my rage…”

“I feel it is too great a risk.” Julienne said firmly.

“Let someone shadow me then.”

“And spread my resources thin?” Julienne responded.

Dianna took a deep breath as she struggled against her tears, “Look, this means so much to me. How can I prove to you that I can do this?”

Julienne sighed, “I’ll give it some thought. But I would encourage you to take some time to open your mind to other possibilities. I will let you know by the end of the week.”

* * *

_I hate you,_ Dianna told her passenger as she walked swiftly through town, desperate to get away from the crowds and to a place of solace where she could break down. _If it wasn’t for you I’d have that job! Hell as soon as Kenneth finds out what I’ve done he won’t want anything to do with me, just like everyone else. You can take all of this from me, though, and I still won’t give you what you want! I will never align with you!_

Dianna realized she was passing her grandparents’ store. She knew she should see her father and talk to him. But the truth was that she was also mad at her parents. If they’d not been heroes who had taken down Shabranigdu then this wouldn’t have happened to her. She wouldn’t have paid the price for their achievements, doomed by their success before she ever got a start in life. It wasn’t fair!

She wiped away the tears from her face, and looked up and saw Drake Cecil standing outside the silversmith’s with several other classmates. Dianna thought of all that Min had, all because she wasn’t cursed. Not for the first time, Dianna wondered how she would have been different if she hadn’t have been cursed. Would she have been popular like Min? She was certainly talented. Would Min have grown up in her shadow like her mother had grown up in Luna’s, and not the other way around?

The urge to take something from Min rose so strong that before she knew it she was standing in front of Drake. She grabbed his hand. “I’m so glad I found you, Drake, you have to come with me!”

“What?” he said, the hesitancy written all over his body language even as he followed her.

“Min desperately wants to see you.” Dianna explained.

“Is she okay?” he asked.

“She’s fine.” Dianna said as she headed towards the woods, “She has something she wants to share with you.”

Drake’s eyes widened as he realized where they were going, “I don’t think we should…”

“You wouldn’t want to let her down? She so wants to see you, somewhere private. I’d hate to have to break it to her that you aren’t interested.” Dianna said, thoroughly enjoying his discomfort.

“I don’t like those woods.” He said.

“Are you a coward then?” Dianna asked, “Is that what I should tell Min?”

“No,” Drake said. 

Dianna smiled malevolently as her grip on his hand tightened, “Follow me then.”


	4. There Were Never Such Devoted Sisters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from “Sisters” from “White Christmas.” My sister and I used to sing that all the time together. She never tried to come between me and my man, and I never tried to come between her and her woman though, lol.

Gourry cursed himself as he walked as fast as he could to his house. There had been a rush of customers at the store, and Gourry had been so caught up in working with them that when he caught a glimpse of the clock and realized how late it was he panicked as he realized that Dianna had never stopped by the store to tell him how the interview had gone! 

He raced to the woods first. Dianna kept a shrine there and she went there when she was distressed. Lina and Gourry had also heard from terrified children that Dianna had tried to lure them there after she had become jealous of them, and while to their knowledge she had never taken anyone there to hurt them, the possibility weighed heavily on their mind. It was also where Gourry was sure she would run to if she ever wanted to merge with Shabranigdu and destroy the world. So when he wasn’t sure where Dianna was, the woods was always the first place he checked because it would undoubtedly be where the epicenter of the storm was.

His anxiety rose as he drew closer to where her shrine was and could smell the awful scents of blood and viscera. He felt sick to his stomach as he saw traces of blood along the path and in the trees. _Please be animal blood, please be animal blood._ He pleaded as it became apparent to him that Dianna’s interview had not gone well at all.

He finally got to the shrine. Blood was everywhere, but the only body he could see was the mutilated remains of an opossum. Dianna was nowhere to be found. Gourry looked at the forest floor to check and see how many footprints there were, but Dianna had used some sort of wind spell to clean up, something that concerned Gourry. He hoped she went to the shrine alone. Either way he had to find her, and she had already left. He hoped that she’d gone to the house to wash up and that she hadn’t merged with him and run off.

He ran from the woods and to his house, not particularly caring how much attention he drew to himself. Finally he got there, and he bound up the steps to the back porch easily as he opened the door, “Dianna?”

“I’m here.” She said, and he felt as though he would collapse in relief as he hugged her, noting the scent of soap and shampoo. She’d just gotten out of the bath.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “things got busy at the store, and then I noticed the time and I got worried when you never stopped by to tell me how the interview went.”

“They’d heard the stories about me.” Dianna managed to squeak as she clung to him.

“I’m sorry, Dianna,” he said, “Something else will turn up.”

“There’s nothing else I want to do so much!”

“Di…”

“I’m scared I’m going to lose it! I need you to keep a close eye on me over the next few days. I’m scared of what I will do!”

“Done.” He said as he wondered how to start the conversation about what he had found in the woods.

But she saved him the trouble as she confessed, “I tortured an opossum to death.”

“I know.” He said and in that moment he was so happy that she had confessed and that he hadn’t had to drag it out of her that he was certain that a dead opossum was the extent of it, “I saw the body. I’m just so glad you told me. Dianna, this is improvement! You suffered a setback and compared to previous ones a dead opossum is not going to matter much. We can get through this.”

Dianna dissolved into tears, “Dad…”

But the door flew open and Min and Attie came in, each one holding an armful of flowers, their morning spat completely forgotten. “Look what was on sale!” Attie exclaimed, but Min’s face fell as she saw them.

“Oh no. The job interview went that poorly?” Min asked as she sat the flowers on the table and went over to put a hand on Dianna’s back.

“As if you care!” Dianna spat, “They said because of my past it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“I do care!” Min protested, “I do want to see you get that job! Now, was it the final word?”

Dianna shook her head, “Julienne said she would make her decision at the end of the week. But I can read between the lines. It was rather final.”

“Nothing is final until it’s final, and even then there will always be another chance. Don’t give up!” Min said.

Dianna opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out were massive sobs as she sat on the couch and Gourry and Min sat on either side of her.

“Oh, Attie, hand me the marigolds.” Min said, and Attie scrambled to grab them, “Here, these are for you, to brighten your bad day. Look, they’re even a brilliant orange, your favorite color!”

Dianna cried even harder as Attie forced the marigolds into her hand, “See? Brighter times are ahead. You may not be able to see the way forward now, but it will appear.” Attie said.

“Come on,” Gourry said, “We’re going to take a walk to the waterfall.”

“Why?” Dianna asked.

“Nothing like a walk to take your mind off things and to help you feel better.” Gourry explained.

“I want to come, too!” Attie said.

“We’d like to have you.” Gourry replied.

“I’m afraid I have to decline. I have a meeting with the Head Librarian and I really need to get to the library.” Min said, “But I’ll stop by the bakery and get some cupcakes on my way back.”

“You really don’t have to do that.” Dianna said.

“I want to!” Min insisted, “And don’t despair. A lot can happen between now and the end the week!”

* * *

In truth, talking to Old Man Nielnieh was one of the tasks that Min dreaded. But as she had her heart set on being Head Librarian one day, it was one of those necessary evils that she would grin and bear. Because if you wanted to get ahead, you had to learn how to gain the system.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Nielnieh,” Min said as she came in with a stack of papers.

“Good afternoon, Minerva.” he replied without looking up from his manuscript.

“Sir, may I have a moment?”

“Of course.” He said as he indicated that she sit.

Min pulled up a chair from across the desk and stated, “Remember a few months ago when you said you would consider letting me on the panel to determine which applicants would get the annual research grants if I worked hard enough?”

“Did I?” he asked, and Min had to take a deep breath to keep her temper in check.

“Since then I’ve updated the card catalogue and I’ve made it more efficient, and I have recovered several manuscripts thought to be lost to humanity in the process, including the Sea of Monsters, the Song of the Grimm, The Ballad of Ceiphied and…”

“What is it you are wanting, Minerva?” he asked.

“To be on that panel.” Min pounced.

He smiled placatingly, “Minerva, you know people don’t like a smart, opinionated woman. Your job is to file the manuscripts away and to be pleasing to our patrons.”

“Since I’ve been here I have shown that I am capable of more!” Min persisted.

“That may be, but it’s not a good thing to continue.” Nielnieh said, “It would upset the social order.”

 _So I suppose my mom should have stayed home rather than upset the social order?_ Min thought to herself as she bit her lip, and then she pulled out a parcel from her bag. “What’s that?” he asked.

“There was another manuscript I found. A lost Claire Bible manuscript detailing some fascinating information about the nature of magical power and why some humans can channel it and others can’t. I have been able to verify it. Lina and Luna Inverse both assured me it was genuine and a truly exciting find. Lina Inverse estimated it would sell for fifty thousand golds pieces, at least!” Min explained as Nielnieh turned red. “I'll tell you what. You let me decide one of the award winners, and I will turn this manuscript over.”

“That is guild property! You can’t just confiscate it like that!” Nielnieh sputtered.

“Did I say I found it on guild property?” Min asked, and she hoped he wouldn’t realize she was lying, “There are some interesting ruins on the outskirts of Zefiel City. I’ve gotten to know them rather well through the years. I’m willing to turn it over to the guild, even though this would pay for a lovely house staffed with servants, if…”

“I let you decide one of the award winners.” Nielnieh muttered in an aggrieved manner.

“And you let me on that panel!” Min pushed.

“Fine.” Nielnieh grumbled, “I will say this is not becoming of a young lady.”

Min patted her hair, but decided not to reveal to Nielnieh that she planned to take over his job one day. She certainly didn’t need to make her job harder by warning him of her intentions. So she put her dislike of Nielnieh aside as she smiled at him placatingly, “I will keep that in mind. I am young and learning. Is there anything else I should know?”

“Your lipstick is too red. A pink color would be better.”

Sometimes, Min wished she could be more like her mother and blow people away when they were inappropriate. This was one of those times. “I will keep that in mind.”

“Is there anything else, Minerva?”

“Yes, I made sure that notice of your vacation was sent out and I have cleared your calendar. You are set to go.” 

“Thanks,” he grumbled.

“Have a safe trip.” Min said as she stood up and thought to herself, _I won’t complain if your wagon tumbles off a cliff though._

“And Minerva, dear,” he said, “If you find anymore long, lost precious manuscripts, do be sure to hand them to me immediately, or else!”

Min smiled in an assuring manner as she lied, “Of course.”

“Minerva, that is the last long, lost precious manuscript you’ve recovered, correct?”

Min felt that her smile would break her face a she lied again, “You have my word!”

“You may go, then. Shut the door behind you, please.”

Once the door was closed, she relaxed as she walked to the circulation desk and grabbed some paper and scribbled a note to Julienne to ask her to meet with her first thing in the morning.

* * *

Dianna still felt terrible as she returned from the walk with Gourry and Attie. It was only a matter of time before Min learned that Drake was going to break up with her. And while Dianna was sure she had terrorized Drake so thoroughly he wouldn’t tell Min what she had done, the idea of seeing Min wander around with a broken heart was not as enticing as it once was. Dianna had regretted it from the moment she took Drake into the woods with her, but she couldn’t stop herself! It grew worse once she’d released Drake, and then when she’d gotten home and she’d hoped that Min would be cruel, but instead she’d been so kind and supportive…

“Just think,” Gourry said, “All of this horrible stuff has been going on and you haven’t lashed out and hurt anybody!”

Dianna cringed as the guilt flowed through every inch of her being. But she couldn’t bring herself to correct him as he continued, “We are just so proud. I know your mom will be so happy to hear it. Even with this setback, it shows how we are pushing forward, you’re coping so much better with disappointment. Everything will be fine.”

The house came into view, along with the smells of dinner, and they turned Dianna’s stomach. She had fooled herself into believing that she’d had Shabranigdu cowed, and her father still believed that. But the truth was Shabraingdu still held so much power over her. Would she ever overcome this? What was the point of trying? 

“Here,” Attie said as she took one of the marigolds and put it in Dianna’s hair. “I wonder if Kenneth will stop by tonight.”

Not even that thought could cheer Dianna. It didn’t seem right pushing things with Kenneth when she had just ruined things for Min and Drake. Besides, if anything today had proved that controlling Shabranigdu was not a struggle confined in her past. It was something she would continue to struggle with. How could she possibly get involved with anyone now? But Kenneth was not something that they could avoid, as when they walked in they saw that Lina had accepted the inevitable and had put Kenneth to work setting the table. “How was your interview?” Lina asked.

“Terrible.” Dianna said. “I don’t even want to talk about it anymore.”

“Damn, Di.” Lina said as she looked at Gourry, but there was little she could say in front of Kenneth, “Life is filled with false starts. This sucks though. Come on, I made your favorite stuff.”

“I wish you hadn’t.” Dianna said even as she sat down. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Hey, you’ve been working so hard. And even though we work hard sometimes we don’t succeed.” Lina said, “Even Sis would say you deserve it!”

“Besides,” Min said as she rushed in from the front door, a box of cupcakes in hand, “There’s still hope! It’s not over till it’s over.”

“I don’t even see why you care so much considering how horrible I can be to you.”

Min shrugged as she sat down, “I figure if you’re up all hours delivering babies you won’t have the energy to be so horrible anymore. Really, seeing you well established in the field is in my best interest.”

Attie nearly choked on her juice as she giggled, and even Dianna had to smile. But the mirth didn’t stick with her long. It was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped and Min’s jubilant manner died, and Dianna could not stop thinking about it.

* * *

Dianna sat on the porch and watched as her father trained Kenneth. As Dianna anticipated, Drake did not call on Min that night, but Min had been unperturbed as he was busy with a project. From the open kitchen window Dianna could hear Min and Attie singing as they did the dishes, and Dianna reached to her hair and pulled out the marigold Attie had put into it, a few of the petals clinging persistently to her long, blonde strands as she did. She stared at the flower as she thought about how she needed to be honest about what she’d done to Drake. But the night was so harmonious and peaceful that she couldn’t bring herself to end it.

“You need me to walk you to the shelter?” she heard Gourry ask Kenneth as they wrapped up.

“No, I know the way.” He said. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. You have a good night.”

“You, too.”

Gourry walked up the steps to the front porch and took a moment to put a comforting hand on Dianna’s shoulder before he walked into the house. Kenneth walked up and sat down beside her, “For an old man your dad sure has kept in shape! He’s not even broken a sweat, and look at me, I may need another one of your water spells!”

“Once a master swordsman, always a master swordsman.” Dianna said a she kept her gaze on the marigold, “You don’t let your skills ever go to waste.”

Dianna didn’t elaborate that the reason that Gourry didn’t let his skills go to waste because he and Lina would need to kill her should she ever decide to merge with Shabranigdu. She couldn’t blame them, but that her parents kept their skills sharp just in case was sickening if she thought about it too much. When she thought about it like that it was amazing there were quiet, happy moments in her family! 

Kenneth stared at her for a moment, as though he was wondering what had happened to the playful young woman he had talked to earlier. “I was thinking, I should have given you this earlier.” 

“I thought you had nothing to give me.” Dianna said, and she hoped she didn’t sound as harsh to him as she did to her.

“A bit of luck?” he asked, and then he quickly kissed her on the cheek.

Dianna felt her face burn as a spark erupted at the point of contact, and she put her hand to her cheek as he stood up, looking bashful. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Right,” Dianna said, feeling flustered as she stood up and backed away to the door. This was wrong! After what she’d done to Min this was wrong! “Right now I need all the luck I can get!”

* * *

“I warned you this would happen!” Lina yelled as she stormed into the bedroom she shared with Gourry.

“What?” he asked as he toweled off in the wash basin.

“I just saw Kenneth on the porch kissing Dianna!”

“What’s the harm, Lina? She needs the distraction.”

“But as soon as he sees her rage…”

“She’s doing so good with it though, so perhaps he won’t. Perhaps she’s past it, and we don’t need to worry anymore.” He said as he beamed at her.

“Gourry, I don’t know. I just don’t feel like we can let our guard down. This is Shabranigdu, and he’s fooled and deceived people older and wiser than Dianna.”

“But none of them realized that he was in their soul.” Gourry countered, “None of them had a Ceiphied Knight teaching them how to control him!”

Lina smiled a little. “Well, I guess Sis would be enough to scare even Shabranigdu straight.”

“There, you see?” he said as he walked over to embrace her, “Everything will be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, my lake cabin has internet! May the Inverse-Gabriev family drama make your Thanksgiving family drama pale in comparison!


	6. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a saying that has a long history and has been attributed to several people, yet fellow Broadway devotees likely know which song the inspiration came from. Hm, a lot of "Wicked" references with this one.

Lina had dreamt of red storm clouds enveloping Dianna and had a difficult time shaking the disquiet she had felt even after she awoke. Unlike Gourry, who seemed to ready to believe that Dianna had simply vented her rage on a hapless opossum and was now okay, Lina couldn’t shake the feeling that something was brewing.

The feeling grew as breakfast progressed without Dianna taunting Min. Even when her jealousy wasn’t triggered Dianna tended to tease Min, but after a setback like the one the day before, combined with the knowledge that Min would be going to the ball, Dianna should have been in full retaliatory mode. Instead, she sat there quietly, picking at her food, as everyone else talked. And while there was a measure of relief in that she had asked Gourry to watch her to ensure that she didn’t do anything bad and was even going to the store with him today, Lina couldn’t help but feel that Dianna was deliberately leading them into a false sense of security so she could strike when they least expected it.

Lina’s stomach twisted at the thought. But Shabranigdu was not an enemy Lina felt she could ever underestimate. Much as she wanted to hope that there would be a day when Dianna’s passenger would be completely cowed and they wouldn’t have to worry anymore, Lina also couldn’t bring herself to believe that it would ever be a reality. Still, as one by one her family got up from the breakfast table, Lina realized there was little she could do but wait. What would happen would happen. She would just have to sleep with one eye open for a while.

* * *

Min had just finished arranging the flowers on Nielnieh’s desk when her friend, Josephine, came in. “Wow, you’ve transformed this office!”

“How do you like it?” Min asked with a sly smile. With Nielnieh on vacation, she had decided to commandeer his office for the meeting with Julienne. Her chair at the circulation desk simply wouldn’t do. Min would need to look like a person with power. 

“It’s wonderful.” Josephine said as she folded her arms under her breasts and looked around, “But I don’t know how you’re going to keep your job if Nielnieh finds out.”

Min waved her away dismissively, “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Especially if you can cry on command. I’ll keep my job and then some!”

“I wish I had your daring!” Josephine commented. 

“Is Julienne here?”

“Yes, are you ready to see her?”

“I am!”

“I’ll bring her in then.”

“Thanks, Jo.” Min said as she sat down on the comfortable leather seat and reflected that she liked sitting behind the big desk very, very much. But before she could get caught up in her dreams she reminded herself that she had to look important, and quickly grabbed some of the papers she had gathered earlier and a quill and started writing.

A few short minutes later Josephine led Julienne in. “Minerva the Blue.” Josephine announced. “Julienne Louis.”

Min stood up and shook her hand as Josephine left and closed the door behind her, “Please have a seat.”

“I hadn’t realized that you and Dianna were twins.” Julienne said as she sat down.

Min laughed as she started fixing some tea, “We’re not, we just happen to look rather much alike. We do like to pull pranks, though. Pretend to be each other and see how many people we can fool.”

“Children do pull pranks.” Julienne commented as Min handed her a cup.

“What sort of pranks did you pull?” Min asked.

Julienne chuckled, “Well, I convinced my sister to run away once. She was three.”

“Really?” Min asked eagerly.

“Yes, I suggested it to her, helped her pack a pillow case with food and water and showed her out the door and to the woods. Thank goodness my mother came to check on us before I left her there!”

Min smiled, “Thank goodness indeed.”

“Well, I found your message intriguing. What are your reasons for wanting to speak with me?”

“Well, it’s about the grant.”

Julienne straightened, “Yes?”

“I’m rather interested in pursuing avenues of research that would make childbearing easier and safer for women.”

Julienne brightened, “I’m so glad to hear it. So often my requests seem to fall on deaf ears!”

“Well, there is such a fear of trying to become a copy of Saillune City or Sellentia that most researchers here don’t want to touch White Magic. I see things differently, though. White Magic improves people’s quality of life everywhere, and I don’t see why Zeferia shouldn’t be in on it.” Min explained, “I am concerned, though. I want to support your mission, but you don’t seem to support my sister.”

“Dianna.” Julienne sighed as she set her cup down. “My colleague raves about her talent. But there are some rather disturbing stories about her. And I have concerns about trusting her among my patients.”

“Dianna was ferocious child.” Min said as she fingered her blue velvet choker necklace, “I bore the brunt of her anger many times. But let me assure you that she has changed. She’s learned to manage it. When she didn’t get the job I feared she would lash out, but she’s kept it together. And people do change as they get older, and it would be horrible if we were to forever pay for the stupid things we did as children.”

Min took a drink of her tea and added, “Such as leaving our sister in the woods.”

Julienne sighed, “So I suppose in return for the grant you want to see me train Dianna.”

“Give her a chance is all I ask. Give her the opportunity to prove that she has changed.”

Julienne took a biscuit and bit into it as she contemplated. “I’ll give her a chance then. But should she mess up…”

“A chance is all I’m asking for.” Min said.

Julienne smiled, “It’s a deal then.”

* * *

Gourry was managing inventory as Dianna was wiping down the windows when a young girl ran into the store, “Dianna Gabriev?” she asked.

“Yes.” Dianna said as Gourry looked up to see what was happening.

“Julienne Louis requests a meeting with you at your earliest convenience.” She explained.

Dianna put a hand over her heart, “Thank you.”

The child ran off, and Gourry folded his arms across his chest, “Do you think that means something good?”

“I’m not sure if I dare to hope.” Dianna said, “But if she was going to reject me why ask to see me in person? She’d just send a letter.”

Gourry smiled, “Looks like Min was right, it’s not over until it’s over.”

“Indeed.” She said, but there was a tension to her voice that concerned Gourry. Suddenly she looked at him pleadingly, “Walk there with me. And wait for me to get out. If we’re wrong I don’t know what I’ll do!”

“Let me give your grandparents’ a heads up, then we’ll go.” Gourry said as he patted her on the shoulder.

* * *

“I imagine you’re wondering why I summoned you here.” Julienne said.

“Yes,” Dianna replied as she attempted to keep the nerves from her voice.

“For that, you must thank your sister.”

“What?” Dianna asked.

“Minerva the Blue has quite the interest in seeing you succeed.” Julienne explained, and Dianna felt a pit open in her stomach.

“What do you mean?”

“She advocated rather strongly that I give you a chance. So I agreed to have you do your training with me so I can keep an eye on you.”

“Thank you.” Dianna said.

“Thank your sister.” Julienne said, “I wouldn’t have agreed without her intervention. And Dianna, there will be no room for error or foul temperament.”

“I understand. I won’t let you down.” Dianna said quickly. Somehow she’d have to keep it together until she left Julienne’s office. She’s already likely ruined things beyond repair but she didn’t need to further the damage!

“Training starts tomorrow then.”

* * *

Gourry leaned against the temple where the midwives trained and worked as he waited for Dianna. If only this would fall into place he was sure things would be okay. And it was encouraging that they had asked to see Dianna. Afterall, if they didn’t want to work with her they would have just sent a letter, if they bothered to contact her at all. Yet when Dianna finally did emerge she looked despondent. 

“Oh Di,” he said, “Something else will turn up.”

“I got the job.” She said in a clipped fashion.

Now he was very confused. She didn’t seem jubilant and excited, “But…”

“Min is going to kill me.”

“What?” Gourry asked, mystified, “But why?”

Dianna bit her lip, and it was obvious she was trying not to cry. “Because she got me that job! And Dad, I’ve done something horrible!”

* * *

Min smiled when she saw Drake standing near the statue they would meet at for lunch, and she bounded over to him and threw her arms around him, “Hello, sweetheart.”

Strangely, he pulled away, barely meeting her eye. “Min.” he acknowledged.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, stunned by his coldness.

Drake looked behind him, as though checking for an enemy, and then he said, “Your sister!”

While Min knew which one, she still asked, “Which sister?”

“Dianna!” Drake said, “She’s not right!”

Min felt as though she’d been punched in the gut as Drake continued, “She needs to be locked up!”

“What did she do?” Min asked.

Drake looked over his shoulder again. “Come on, let’s walk to the office. Everyone is out for lunch right now.”

As Min followed him her feelings of both foreboding and anger grew. Just how bad was it? Finally they reached the office Drake was working at. She followed him in, and he checked to make sure no one was there before he locked the door. “Have a seat.”

Min went ahead and sat on one of the chairs as she asked, “What happened?”

Drake looked around again and then ran his hand through his hair, and Min noted he was sweating slightly as he stared off at a desk. “I stupidly followed her into the woods, she said you wanted to see me. I don’t know why I did. It will be the end of my career if word gets out that I was stupid enough to follow her there, I had to tell several people who saw her approach me that I’d gotten away before we’d gotten to the woods. I knew I’d made a mistake but I couldn’t turn away, I don’t know why. Once we got to her shrine she overpowered me and tied me to the tree, and then she caught a opossum and tortured it to death all while forcing me to watch! The whole time she told me that she would do the same thing to me if I kept seeing you or if I told anyone!”

Min put her hand over her mouth as the bile rose in her throat as Drake continued, his voice high and anxious, “I thought she was going to kill me! Really, Min, what is wrong with her?”

“We can only speculate…” Min said pitifully, aware of what a weak excuse it was, resentful that after everything she still had to protect Dianna.

“That’s bullshit, Min!” Drake responded.

Min bit her lip as it started to tremble. He deserved to know the truth, and she no longer wanted to keep this secret. That she had to hide this from his was agony, and after he had suffered so he deserved to know why. Min opened her mouth, but the words died in her throat. Memories of her parents and aunt drilling into her the fearful consequences of what would happen if word about Dianna’s situation got out rose. And then Min shuddered as she thought about what Luna would do to her if she said anything. She choked, and finally managed to say, “I know it’s not fair! If I could tell you I would but please believe me, it would be a lot worse if you knew the truth.”

“Fine.” He spat, obviously unsatisfied with her answer.

Min grabbed his arm, “I’ll make sure she’s taken care of, that she won’t do this again.”

“And if it is that bad, then just how are you going to do that?” he asked.

“Have you met my Aunt Luna?” Min asked.

Drake exhaled. “Point. Damn, I should have gone straight to her after it happened. I still don’t know why I let her do that!”

“I am so sorry, this never should have happened.” Min said. “How can we make it up to you?”

“You just stay out of my way. You and both of your sisters!”

Min felt as though she had been gutted, “Drake, we can’t let her get between us, we can’t let her win like this!”

“I’m sorry Min.” he said, his voice gritty as though he was trying to hold back a torrent of emotion, “We had an incredible dream. But I can’t! Not right now anyway. You look just like her! And Attie is sweet, but she also looks just like her! Right now I can barely stand to look at you because I keep remember what she did! In fact, I need you to leave.”

Min did all she could to keep from erupting into tears as she thought about all that Dianna had cost her after all that she had done for her. As much as it hurt, the very least that she could do was respect Drake’s wishes. Shakily she stood up. “If you ever think you can work past this, you know where to find me. I am so sorry, she won’t come near you again, I’ll make sure of it.”

* * *

Gourry stood by the window as Dianna sat on the couch, hunched over and looking despondent. Attie sat beside her and kept a hand on her shoulder. Gourry felt much the same way. Up until now he had hoped that they could get Dianna to a point where she could control the rage well enough that they wouldn’t have to keep such a close eye on her, but now it seemed impossible. While she could be fine one moment, with the wrong combination of factors, she would still lash out even after all they had taught her. And goodness knows when they would find out about who she had harmed.

Gourry worried that Drake would go to the authorities. He couldn’t blame him. At the same time, he didn’t want to see Dianna go off to jail, and if she were behind bars, it would likely be devastating to her mental state. And then, if they were lucky to avoid such a tragic outcome, the bad blood that would spill between Dianna and Min seemed inevitable. He had always feared that the estrangement that marked his family of origin would visit the family he’d created with Lina even as he had done everything in his power to prevent it. Now it seemed to have been in vain.

Gourry’s stomach knotted as he saw Min walking towards the house, looking thunderous as she walked beside Luna. That she was with Luna told Gourry that Min knew. Gourry looked at Dianna, “Min has your aunt with her.”

Dianna’s eyes widened as she pulled at her hair, but then stood up as though resigned to face the music, “Let’s get it over with, then.”

A few moments later, Min stormed into the house and marched up to Dianna and shoved her back down onto the couch. “How could you? Do you realize I stuck my neck out for you and got you that job? That I gave Julienne my promise that your fits of rage were over?”

Luna closed the door behind her as she looked at Gourry, who was staring at his daughters helplessly. And the question was where to intervene? Min had a legitimate grievance she needed to air. But Gourry had to believe that Shabranigdu was more responsible than Dianna and that there was only so much she could do to fight him. He couldn’t let himself believe that Dianna was capable of such maliciousness, he had to see her as a victim of her passenger. And ultimately if Dianna lost hope of ever getting better she would merge with them. But where the line was between letting Min have her say and keeping Dianna mentally well was so faint that Gourry couldn’t detect where it was. And as he looked at the uncharacteristically worried expression on Luna’s face, he could tell she was experiencing the same difficulty.

“I’ve already talked to Julienne.” Dianna said as she grasped the couch and looked at Min beseechingly, “Min I am so sorry, I feel horrible!”

Min’s blue eyes flashed and her hands clinched into fists, and for a moment Gourry thought she was going to start swinging. Instead she started screaming, “Well imagine how I feel! Really Di! I live with the scars, physical scars from you, and the mental ones, dammit, Di! For years you’ve torn me down as being shallow and vain while I’ve been busting my ass working the system so I could get you into a position that you love, that you ruined any chance of getting on your own, so you could have that fresh start. And after all of that hard work you not only terrorize Drake, which is horrible enough on his own, but you hurt the man I love! And now he wants nothing to do with me!”

Min broke down into a sob as she covered her face for a moment as Diann erupted into her own tears. Min moved her hands to her side as she looked at Dianna disdainfully and asked mockingly, “Are those even genuine or are you just trying to get me to feel sorry for you? The whole I have a shard of Shabranigdu, it’s not my fault, don’t push me or I’ll destroy the world.”

“Min…” Gourry said.

“No! I’m sick of it!” Min said as she rounded on him, “I’m not holding back anymore! I’ve bitten my tongue so much through the years I’m surprised it still exists!”

“It’s alright, Dad. I can take it.” Dianna said.

Min turned back around and yelled, “Do you know how hard it is when people ask me what the hell is wrong with you? How I’ve never been able to have a friend over for the night for fear of the shit you would pull? How many sacrifices I’ve had to make so you wouldn’t go off the deep end and destroy the world? And now Drake can’t stand to be with me because I look too much like you! Most ambitious men like him want a house wife, but we wanted to transform Zefiel City into a hub of culture and research with me! He wanted to support me in my ambitions and insisted that both of our careers were important! How many men can I find like that? And even if I find another one, it won’t be Drake!”

“I thoroughly hate myself.”

“Good!” Min yelled.

“Min,” Attie asked tentatively, “What can she do to make this better?”

“Dianna can stop ruining my life for one!” Min said.

“How can I do that?” Dianna asked.

“You can’t keep attacking people like this for one. I can’t believe we’re still having to worry about it. If you keep attacking people like this, well, Drake is too embarrassed to make a public statement, but someone eventually will. You’re not a little girl anymore! You’ve got to get it under control! If Julienne knew, after I’d promised you were past this…”

“I won’t screw up! I’m going to be the best midwife there ever was, I will have Julienne thanking you! This will be the last time, I promise!”

“It had better be. I’m not cleaning up any more of your messes or pulling anymore strings for you! And while we’re at it, you stay the hell away from Drake! If you see him in town you turn around and walk the other way, I don’t care how much out of your path it takes you! And for that matter you stay away from me. You spend as much time in your room as you can, you eat your meals alone, if you see me around you get out of my way! As far as I’m concerned I only have one sister right now!”

Gourry tensed and thought about asking Min to back down, but it was as though she had run out of steam, as she abruptly ran into her room and slammed the door behind her. Dianna looked gutted as she stared at the floor, while he looked at Attie and Luna awkwardly. Attie gave Dianna’s knee a squeeze, and then she got up and followed Min into their room and closed the door behind her, and Dianna seemed to sink even more. While Gourry felt too stunned to say anything, Luna suddenly seemed to have found her momentum as she grabbed Dianna by the shoulder and said, “I’d like a word.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It kind of hit me that, given my earlier reference to this being a twisted version of Little Women, fans of the book may think that Josephine was a homage to the spunky Jo March. Really I was thinking of Josephine Butler, for some rather tangential reasons (original characters either have a logic behind their name even if it is rather obtuse, or they are names I picked by turning to a random page in a book I’m reading or junk mail on my desk, or they’re something spelled backwards). Still, now that I have Jo I guess I should see if I can work in a Meg, Beth and Amy, lol.


	7. I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title from "Unwell" by Matchbox20.
> 
> And I'm a bit embarrassed. I did a allegory here I swore I'd never do but didn't realize until it was too late. Oh well. I guess I needed to get it out. Enjoy.

“Are you going to punish me?” Dianna asked.

Gourry watched Luna tensely as she sat down beside Dianna, “I imagine that the guilt that you are feeling right now is far worse than anything I could do to you.”

Dianna buried her face in her hands as Luna continued, “Plus the destruction of your relationship with your sister. That may be irreparable.”

“Luna…” Gourry said.

“At the same time, did you mother ever tell you what I did to her after she took those photos?” Luna asked.

“I deserve it.” Dianna said.

Luna looked at her, “Where did the break down occur?”

“I got too big headed.” Dianna said, “Years without an incident. I thought I’d beaten him. I was completely unprepared for a setback.”

“I was also careless.” Gourry said, “I should have been there waiting for you when that first interview was over.”

Luna nodded, “I should have been keeping a closer eye myself. I think we all owe Min and Drake an apology.”

“I would have gotten mad if you’d kept a tighter leash,” Dianna said, “I would have insisted…”

“Helping you fight him is a responsibility all of us share. And you never asked for this.” Gourry said firmly as he sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her. “There was a reason Ceiphied did what he did, because he expected your mother and I to be on it. We all got distracted.”

“You have a right to expect me to grow up and shoulder this on my own one day.” Dianna said.

Luna grabbed her face and turned it towards her, “That being inside you is strong. It overpowered Rezo the Red Priest, who was far older than you. I believe you are stronger, and part of that strength is the people in your life. No one has defeated Shabranigdu on their own. Your mother had your father’s help, as well as a chimera’s and Rezo’s when she first defeated him. The second time Luke wanted to die and stacked the odds in her favor. Defeating him isn’t something that someone does on her own. So, what are you going to do to ensure that this doesn’t happen again?”

Dianna sighed, “I’ve already been spending all of my time with Dad in case I feel the urge to do something. Training starts tomorrow, I guess that will keep me busy. Focus on being the best midwife I can be. Stay away from Drake.”

“And?” Luna prompted.

Dianna shook her head as if mystified by what else.

Luna got into her face, “Your mother has told me about that young man. Even before all this, getting involved with him was a stupid thought on your part. But if I catch you with him again then I will do to you what I did to your mother decades ago.”

Gourry looked at Dianna and felt torn. While he shared the concerns that Lina and Luna had about Dianna pursuing a romance, and possibly settling down, marrying and having children of her own, he also didn’t think it was realistic to prohibit her from pursuing it. Romance and intimacy were natural things to want, and rather strong drives to ignore. Still, though she looked pained, Dianna said, “I feel so bad about what I did to Min I couldn’t possibly right now. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Hold onto that feeling.” Luna said as she stood up. “Now I must be going. You, brother-in-law, keep a close eye on her.”

* * *

Usually at night Min and Attie would be talking and laughing in their room even after the lights were off off while the light to Dianna’s room remained on as she worked on her various projects. So it was strange that the house was silent and dark as Lina walked through it as she checked it before going to bed. But then after a day like today who wouldn’t want to just go to sleep in the hopes that they would wake to find that it was all a dream? With a sigh Lina opened the door to the master bedroom. Gourry was already in bed, though his eyes were open and the light was on. “Hey.” He said.

She closed the door behind her and grabbed her brush and started running it through her hair. “Hey.” She replied.

“I still can’t believe I didn’t know something was up. That I wasn’t there after the interview was over. I was so willing to believe the best…” Gourry said.

Lina put a hand on his knee. “And I was too willing to believe the worst.”

“Huh?” he said.

“I felt something was off, and I thought Di was luring us into a false sense of security before she attacked. I didn’t see that she was already in over her head and feeling guilt but didn’t know how to ask for help.” Lina explained. “That after it happened she went to you for help, well, that shows that she wants to do good, and here I was thinking she was going to attack Min at the first chance she got. That’s what I can’t get over. She’s trying so hard and it’s still not enough. Min’s not going to see that, and part of me can’t blame her.”

“But if Di gets too discouraged…” Gourry said.

“She’ll merge with him.” Lina said as she laid in bed, “And I sure didn’t help things by being willing to believe the worst.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, “Unfortunately our tendencies didn’t cancel each other out this time.”

Lina smiled wryly, “But there will always be the next time.”

* * *

Dianna hoped that she looked calm and professional when she went to the temple. She was relieved when Julienne smiled warmly at her, not betraying any of the reticence she had felt about hiring her as she introduced her to the other midwives and showed her around. Dianna did her best to focus and pay attention, and to ask for things to do. Fortunately Julienne soon talked about rounds to check in on patients. “The first woman we’ll see today is a rather tragic case.” Julienne explained. “She’s had four pregnancies, two miscarriages and two stillbirths. During the last pregnancy she caught an infection she’s never recovered from and it was advised that she not get pregnant again. Still, she wanted a baby, and she is doing poorly. She still has two months to go, and this time I fear we’ll have a dead infant and mother on our hands.”

“What is being done for her?” Dianna asked.

“She is on strict bed rest. We are giving her the proper medicines but nothing much seems to work. Of course I don’t think she’ll be strong enough to undergo labor, but if we do a c-section we won’t be able to use a healing spell…”

“Because that would make the infection worse.” Dianna finished as she started to see the scope of the problem.

“I must caution, in a case like this we don’t expect happy outcomes. I hate for this to be one of your first, but it does provide lessons in caution, as well as whether or not you can deal with the sorrows of this job.”

“I don’t want to give up on this before we’ve even begun!” Dianna said. 

“Well, if you have any suggestions I will be willing to hear them.” Julienne said as they got to a fancy looking house, and she knocked on the door. “Goodness knows this seems a damned if we do, damned if we don’t situation. So no matter how unorthodox I’ll likely try it.”

A maid answered, and led them to an upstairs bedroom where a young woman was sleeping. “Hello, Beth.” Julienne said as she gently shook her awake. 

“Morning.” Beth said. 

“This is a midwife we are training, Dianna”

“Hi.” Dianna said, but then she stood back as she observed as Julienne examined Beth. And as she did a growing intuition grew within her about what she needed to do. “If I may suggest something unorthodox?”

“Yes?” Julienne asked.

“Beth, I want you to walk with me down the hallway.”

“I’m not sure I’m well enough for that.” Beth said. “I feel so poorly. And they said that getting out of bed could send me into an early labor.”

“My gut is telling me that won’t happen.” Dianna said, “Look, I know you want to meet this baby, right?”

“Yes!” Betha said.

“So we’re going to need you to push when it’s time. And for you to do that your muscles need to be strong. Laying in bed all the time causes them to waste away and you won’t be strong enough to push when you need to. So we need to build your muscles up again.”

Beth looked at Julienne, “Is she right?”

“That is one way of thinking. Not a common one, but I always say if one of my midwives has a gut feeling then she needs to trust it.”

“Come on.” Dianna said as she wrapped her arm around her and helped her out of bed, “It’s just up and down the hallway today. And we’ll work our way from there.”

* * *

It was late in the evening when Dianna left the temple, heady from watching her first delivery. Everything about it had been delectable! The desire to hurt people was like a constant low level throb in her brain that occasionally grew to something she couldn’t control. But now? She didn’t feel it at all! Being around a laboring woman has satiated her need to feed on the pain of others. And she didn’t lift a finger to cause it! 

And then there was the euphoria that came with welcoming a new life into the world. This was what she was born to do, she knew it! If she could keep this job then she was sure that she’d never hurt anyone again. She’d only wished she’d found it before she’d tortured Drake. 

Dianna felt as though ice water was poured on her as she remembered the conversation she’d had with her aunt. She exhaled a breath she was holding as she realized that she was thinking dangerously. No, the test of whether or not she would ever hurt someone again wasn’t whether or not the low level throb was gone, but whether or not her jealousy could be triggered and she could resist the compulsion to hurt someone. Until that happened, she would have to be careful.

She looked at the sky. It was well past supper time, which would help her to avoid the awkwardness of staying out of Min’s way. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a presence behind her, and then Kenneth said, “I’ve been missing you.”

Dianna put a hand over her heart. “I got the job. I’ve been busy.”

“I heard. Congrats!”

“Thanks.” Dianna said as she looked at the ground, once again regretting that this had happened after she’d attacked Drake. And suddenly she was feeling foolish for believing, yet again, that she could ever be over this, “Look, I have to end this now. I shouldn’t have come onto you in the first place. I’m not right.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I told you there were things about me you could never know. Things I thought I was past. Things I’m never going to be past. It was reckless of me to think otherwise.”

“Dianna…”

“I’ve done horrible things. It’s only a matter of time before you hear about them.”

“I really don’t care.”

“You should!” she said sternly as she stopped to glare at him, feeling a pull between happy that he was fighting for being with her and agonized that she would have to end it, “Because I’m liable to do them, again and again! I’m not right! So I’d better stay away from you before I hurt you as well!”

Kenneth looked at her in bewilderment. She bit her lip as she turned around and headed home. Somehow she found the voice to say, “Goodnight.”

* * *

“What’s wrong with Dianna?” Kenneth asked Gourry as he ate at their house for dinner. As usual since Dianna had started training to be a midwife, she was out working.

Lina and Gourry locked eyes, and Gourry could sense Lina telling him that she had warned him. Min, meanwhile, said, “That’s a rather rude question. Especially with all the help we’ve provided you.”

“I’m sorry, I mean no offense. But she herself says that she’s not right, but she won’t say more than that. And I keep thinking, how can It be that bad? She seems fine.”

“Dianna has spells.” Gourry said. 

“What do you mean?” Kenneth said.

“She has a hard time controlling her anger, and she’s hurt a lot of people because of it.” Gourry explained. “She tries hard to do better. Every time she thinks she’s mastered it, though, something happens to prove her wrong.”

“Many people have a hard time managing their anger.” Kenneth said.

“I know. I’m one of them.” Lina said sternly, “And Dianna makes me look like I have the patience of a saint! Look, if you haven’t heard the stories by now, it’s only a matter of time. Then you’ll understand. Just know that she’s not going to be able to do the things people do, like have romances and get married. Don’t go there with her.”

“Yet you expect her to work?” Kenneth said.

Everyone looked at each other nervously. Gourry said, “People need to have a purpose, a mission. Dianna can do that much.”

“But what is wrong with her? Why can’t she control her anger?”

“Just a reminder,” Min said as she ate her salad, “It’s rather rude to talk about people behind their backs. Kenneth, I’ve heard that they are going to recruit royal body guards soon. How is his training coming along, Dad?”

* * *

Lina threw open the front door, and found Gourry and Dianna sitting on the couch, talking. Lina grinned, “Di, stay right there.”

Lina then grabbed Attie’s arm and pulled her inside, followed by Min. Lina decided to ignore the tension that came with the two of them being in the same room at the same time. It had been a few weeks, and Lina was determined that Min put it aside for Attie, who blushed proudly as she opened her arms to show off her pale green robes. Lina, meanwhile, broke into a grin as she announced, “May I present to you Atalanta the Green!”

“I knew you could do it!” Dianna said as she got up to hug her, followed by Gourry.

“It was rather easy.” Attie admitted, “I don’t know why I was so worried about it.”

“You worked hard.” Gourry said, “We’re proud of you.”

Min put her arm around Lina, “Thank you for blazing the trail for us and ensuring that we were never cursed with pink robes.”

“The sacrifices I made.” Lina muttered. 

“I don’t know why you don’t like the pink ones so much.” Gourry said, “They look nice on you.”

“Alright, then, you wear them.” Lina said, and Min laughed.

“They wouldn’t suit me at all.”

“Anyway, I’m thinking we should all go out tonight, be a happy family and celebrate Attie’s achievement.” Lina said evenly as she hoped that they could be a family again.

Everyone looked nervously at Min, who stared at the ground for a moment, “I think we can manage that.”

“Good.” Lina said as she looked at her youngest and felt her heart swell with pride. “Come on, you get to choose where to eat tonight.”

“So,” Min said as she wrapped an arm around Attie, “Now that you have a color status, what are you planning to do?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Attie said as they left the house, “I heard that they’re looking for a detective with sorcery skills, and that seems interesting.”

“If you find out who is doing the interviewing, let me know.” Min said as they walked down the steps, “I’ll see if I have a connection.”

Attie’s next words were an unexpected punch in the gut to Lina, who actually grabbed Gourry’s arm when she heard them. “But I have considered traveling and going on my own journey.”

Given that Lina had left home at that age, she knew it was irrational. Still, she couldn’t help but to snap, “Not until you’re thirteen! And then not until we’ve had a long talk!”

* * *

Even on her days off, Dianna went over to Beth’s house to help her to take a walk. Beth did get stronger, even as Julienne remained pessimistic that both Beth and the baby would survive. Still, Dianna felt in her gut that there was reason to hope. And Beth did make it to term when she went into labor, if but barely.

Dianna heaved a sigh of relief as she caught the baby, who made a weak cry. Julienne’s eyes widened as Beth stared at them in disbelief, “He’s alive?”

“Yes. And he’s beautiful.” Dianna said as she placed the baby on Beth’s chest.

“A bit smaller than we’d like. And bluer.” Julienne said, “But alive.”

Beth cried as she reached out to touch him. Julienne reached out to grab him, “I want to bring him to the wet nurse and let you rest.”

“No!” Beth protested, “Please let me keep him!”

“I think we should.” Dianna said as she placed a blanket over the baby and started to massage him through the blanket, hoping that he would liven and pinken. “I know in Saillune they wrap the babies’ to their mother’s chests. It helps stabilize both of their life signs.”

“I’m willing to try it.” Julienne said after she’d given it a moment’s reflection. “I’d given up hope. But you’ve gotten us this far, perhaps you can see them the rest of the way through.”

* * *

“I’m amazed.” Julienne said as Beth slept with her infant alive and on her chest. “They are both doing incredibly well. I think sometimes we older midwives are so jaded by our failures that we start to protect ourselves by telling us nothing can be done to prepare for the worse and we fail to look for what can be done. I’m starting to think that they will pull through. Monica Joan, it appears, was right about you.”

Dianna smiled as she packed her equipment, “Thank you.”

“You have a gift for this.” Julienne continued, “Perhaps I should have you speak about other techniques that are popular in Saillune.”

“I would like that.” Dianna said.

Julienne smiled as she watched Beth. “Beth’s father is a Duke. I heard him telling his wife he was going to ensure that you were invited to the Festival Ball.”

“What?” Dianna said as she nearly dropped her bag.

“Congrats!” Julienne said warmly as she patted her arm.

“Thanks.” Dianna said, as she hoped that Julienne was wrong. Min and Drake would be at the Festival Ball. And after what she’d done, she would have no choice but to turn it down. Dianna exhaled and let the moment pass. She would be too busy with her work to worry about a stupid ball, she told herself. It was just the way it would have to be.


	8. Forgiveness

“Dianna?” Julienne asked as Dianna hung her cloak on a hook, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, given my success with the high risk cases, I figured I should come in, just in case I’m needed.”

“But the ball is tonight.” Julienne countered in a mystified manner.

“This is more important than a ball.” Dianna said, as she silently pleaded for Julienne to relent and let her pick up an extra shift so she wouldn’t have to think about what she would be missing out on.

But Julienne shook her head, “Out of the question! You’ve worked so hard since you started here. Go and enjoy yourself for a night!”

Dianna folded her arms over her stomach and stated, “But I have nothing to wear.” 

Julienne laughed, “Well, if you don’t then I’m sure one of your sisters does. There’s still time. Now go!”

Dianna felt shaky as she left. She had really counted on being able to work and the distraction that would provide. Quickly she walked to her grandparents’ store, thinking she was a fool for not going there first. All she would have needed to do was ask her grandparents for a task and they would have found something for her to do no questions asked. She tried not to scan the streets for people to lash out at, but for whatever reason as she passed the dressmakers she looked up and saw Min walking out with a package under her arm, beaming as she waved to a friend who she ran up to greet. 

The jealousy flared, even as Dianna felt terrible for it. Her inability to control her feelings of jealousy was why she was in this position in the first place. And as she’d had to remind herself repeatedly since the fall out, Min had not cursed her. She’d merely gotten lucky. 

By the time she finally reached her grandparents’ store she was trembling with the effort of keeping it together. But she had done it! And no sooner had she walked in did her grandmother take one look at her and ask her to do inventory. It was boring and mindless, but it would keep her occupied and out of trouble. So in that respect it was perfect.

* * *

“You look so pretty!” Attie exclaimed as Min put on her earrings.

“Thank you.” Min said as she looked at herself in the mirror. “I still worry that I will look too pedestrian, like it will be obvious I’m a commoner playing dress up.”

“I think you’re worrying too much about nothing.” Lina said dryly. Min had been able to set aside enough money for a nice taffeta dress, and Lina had let her raid her jewelry box from the days when she would loot treasure from bandits, so they’d had some nice pieces thanks to that. And the time that Min had put into learning to style her hair and make up into the latest fashions was more than paying off. She easily looked as though she could have been a princess. And not for the first time, Lina wondered where Min’s ability and interest in fashion and society had come from. 

“I bet if you claimed to be some long lost duchess you’d find yourself engaged to a prince before the night is over.” Added Attie, and Min chuckled a bit.

“I hope you’re right. Oh, what time is it?” Min asked.

“Your ride should be here soon.” Lina said as she admired her daughter. She had always said that Gourry would have made a beautiful woman, and all three of her girls were proof of that! 

“Oh, I’m getting nervous! I was supposed to go with Drake. What if no one will dance with me? I would hate to be a wall flower!” Min fretted.

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.” Lina said with a hint of amusement in her voice. 

“Well, I guess I’m lucky I’m even going.” Min said, “Still, Drake and I were both so lucky to be invited on the same year! It was all so perfect. Just like we were. I miss him.”

Lina sighed and wrapped her arms around him, “Just don’t let this cast a shadow on your whole night. You earned this! Seize it and enjoy it! And if you somehow happen to become a wallflower, then be the prettiest one there ever was!”

Someone knocked at the door, and Min practically jumped out of her seat, “I bet that’s my ride.”

Lina reached out to hug Min, “You enjoy your evening!”

“I will.” Min said.

And once Min reached the ball she soon found that she did! She also found that she had no shortage of admirers. As soon as she walked into the ballroom someone asked her to dance, and as soon as that first dance was finished someone else was ready to ask for the next one. If it wasn’t for the occasional glimpse of Drake she would spy across the dance floor she would have easily gotten carried away in the joy of the evening. 

Eventually she grew thirsty, so she smiled at her partner as she finished the dance, and then made her excuses and walked over to the refreshment table to get a drink, and was only mildly surprised when she saw Kenneth, who had recently been hired as a guard, on duty by the door. She grabbed a cup of punch and walked over to him and said by way of greeting. “Looks like they wasted no time in putting you to work.”

“Yeah, they said they were shorthanded.” Kenneth explained, “I have so much to thank your family for.”

“Just be sure to stop by with a fruit basket. Mom’s been complaining about how much men eat, though she really has no right to talk there.” Min said jovially.

“Min,” A young woman named Meg said as she came up, “Where’s your sister?”

“Which sister?” Min repeated as she reddened as she worried about what Dianna had done now.

“Dianna! My father was wanting to give her a special award for saving Beth’s life, but we can’t find her anywhere.”

Min stammered as it slowly sank in that, for once, someone was inquiring about Dianna not because she had gotten into trouble but because she was being rewarded! “She was invited here?” Min repeated, stunned.

“She never said anything?” Meg asked incredulously.

“Just…” Min said as she shook her head and tried to recover from her shock, “Just that one of her patients was expected to have a complicated delivery and she wanted to make sure she was available.”

“Oh, well, I guess that would take precedence. I’m convinced Beth would have died without her help, and if some other poor woman needs her then that would be more important than a stupid ball really. I guess she’ll have to be honored on another occasion. Tell her we understand.” Meg said as she squeezed Min’s hand before she moved away.

“What’s all this about?” Kenneth asked.

Min moved her hand to her mouth and just said, “Di just made a rather big sacrifice. And she didn’t even tell any of us!”

“Huh?” he asked.

But before Min could explain, Drake came up and softly said, “Min.” 

“Drake.” Min said as she turned around and straightened her shoulders.

“I wanted to say that you do look lovely tonight.”

“Thank you.” She replied as her heart raced, “You’re looking rather nice yourself.”

“Can we talk for a moment?” he asked.

Min nodded, and she looked at Kenneth, “Excuse me.”

As soon as she walked off a young sorcerer came up and said to Kenneth, “You know that family well?”

Kenneth shifted uncomfortably, “Gourry has been giving me sword lessons and I’ve been having dinner with them.”

“So you know Dianna?”

“Well, what do you know about her?” Kenneth asked.

“She’s a changeling for one thing.” The sorcerer said.

“A what?”

The sorcerer laughed, “Let me tell you a story…”

* * *

“How have you been?” Min asked once they got to the balcony.

“I’m getting better.” Drake said, “The nightmares have stopped, thank goodness. Time makes things get better.”

“I’m relieved to hear it.” Min said as she looked out towards the gardens.

“I also wanted to let you know, that I do miss you. Every time some bill that would interest you crosses my desk, or I need to go to the library to research a case, I think of you.”

Min smiled as she turned to face him. “You’re still welcome to ask for help with finding what you need.” 

He smiled a little, “There’s so much going on. Studying for the bar. I probably do need to spend most of my free time in the library until I pass it.”

“Well, I’d say that the library is where you need to be.” 

“There’s part of me that wants to make it work with you, so bad. But then, I don’t know how I can be around Dianna, or how we can be together if I can’t stand to be around your sister.”

“Dianna would make the sacrifices. She already has, Drake. She was invited here because of what she did for the Duke’s daughter, I’m sure you’ve heard about it.”

“Yes. Frankly it’s bizarre to hear people sing her praises for once.”

“Isn’t it? I think the job is a good way for her to channel that rage she has. The thing is that she passed on it, she didn’t even tell us that she had been invited, I’m guessing because she didn’t want to hurt you further. You know she wanted to come here so badly. So after making this sacrifice I’m sure she’ll do what it takes to make things up to you. We can make it work.”

“It would help if I knew why she attacked me in the first place! And why it won’t happen again.” Drake said.

“She got jealous and stupid, that’s what happened.” Min said, “My dad and aunt are keeping a closer eye on her.”

“All the same, what if we had kids and she got jealous and stupid and did something to them?” Drake said as he reached out and touched the choker around her throat.

Min turned and looked back out at the garden, “It’s something we all worry about with her, and that we all take measures to prevent. Regardless, that’s a way away, isn’t it?”

“I guess you’re right there.” He said with a small smile.

“For now, it would be nice just to see you around the library again.”

“I think I can do that.” He said as he offered his hand, “If you’ll have this next dance?”

Min’s heart swelled as she took his hand and went back to the dance floor.

* * *

Min slept in rather late the next morning, and when she did finally wake up Dianna had already left for work. “Hey Dad.” Min said after she had done over the highlights of the ball with Gourry, Lina and Attie.

“Yes?”

“Did you keep an eye on Di yesterday?”

“Yes, she spent all day at the store and all evening at home.” He said, “Why?”

“You’re not going to believe this.” Min said as she started to explain about Dianna’s invitation.

* * *

When Dianna finally got home, she was surprised to see Min in the kitchen making tea. Lately Min had made sure that she was already in bed by the time she’d got in. For a moment Dianna wondered if she should bolt, but Min gently said, “Have a seat.”

Dianna did, and Min handed her a cup and said, “I heard that you were invited to the Festival Ball.”

Dianna’s eyes widened and she grasped the cup, “Yes.”

“And you didn’t say anything?”

“I didn’t feel like I had the right.” Dianna said.

Min sat down across from her and took a sip of tea. “Sometimes I lose sight of the fact that, even with the sacrifices I’ve made, yours have been greater. There’s no comparison really.”

A few tears leaked from Dianna’s eyes, and Min put a hand on her arm, “Oh, honey. Everything is going to be okay. I even spoke to Drake at the ball. He’s coming around, he’s even wanting to see me again. He’s still petrified of you I’m afraid, but given time I’m sure even that will heal. But for now, you and me, we can be good again, right?”

Dianna nodded as she hugged her. “This job, it helps me so much. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you for getting my foot in the door. If there’s anything you need from me…”

“Just manage the rage, and don’t destroy the world.” Min said.

“Well, some days that’s easier than others.” Dianna said, and they chuckled a little. 

“We’re in this together again, though.” Min replied.

* * *

Dianna had a sense that someone was going to pop and wasn’t too surprised when she heard a frantic pounding at the temple door. She smiled knowingly at Valerie who said, “Of course a downpour will bring it on. You’re up Di.”

Dianna nodded and walked over to open the door, and was surprised when she saw Kenneth there. His eyes widened a bit when he saw her as he said, “The wife of the ambassador to Ralteague has gone into labor.”

“Come in out of the rain.” Dianna said as she held the door open, and she was grateful that she had to collect her supplies, thus giving her a chance to turn away and compose herself, “I’ll be ready in a minute.”

Kenneth came in and wiped the water from his brow as Dianna felt bombarded by numerous impulses. Now that Min and Drake were rebuilding their relationship it wouldn’t be a twist in Min’s gut to pursue something with Kenneth. But considering how strongly she had come onto him and how swiftly she’d ended it, she couldn’t blame him for not wanting anything more to do with her. And then, if he was somehow still interested, there was the problem that Luna would have her hide if she tried to pursue a romance. All the same, as Dianna glanced at him after she’d grabbed her stuff, she could not deny that she wanted him desperately. “Let Julienne know I’m out, Val.”

“I hate to take you out in this weather.” He said.

Dianna shrugged as she put her red clock on as she did her best to appear composed, “It’s part of the job. Last week Barbara had to cross the river in a downpour and the poor thing came back with such a terrible cold. Babies seem to arrive when it is least convenient. Shall we?”

She opened the door and they stepped out into the rain. They were quiet for a moment as they walked, and then Kenneth said, “I heard the stories.”

“Hm.” Dianna said as her stomach tightened.

“Are you really a changeling?”

“That’s ridiculous.” Dianna scoffed. “Changelings don’t exist, and besides, while my dad was heartbroken when he thought my mom wouldn’t survive birthing me, but he never would have hurt me to save her.”

“He’s a good man.” Kenneth said, “I believe that. But the things they’ve said you’ve done, the way that you’ve attacked people…”

“That’s true.” Dianna said sharply. “I warned you that I’m not right.”

“But you try to do better, don’t you?”

She was silent for a moment. “I do. And I fail. Still, working here has helped a lot. I’ve made more progress with controlling the rage and anger in three months of working here as I have in the last three years. If they only trained midwives at a younger age I would be in such a better spot.” She said as they got to the palace.

“Open up for the midwife!” Kenneth shouted, and the guards opened the doors.

Dianna got inside and took her cloak off and handed it to the waiting valet. “Dianna.” Kenneth said as she was about to follow the butler.

“Make it quick.”

“If this is really something you’re working on controlling, then I’d like to have a go at it. Perhaps I can even help.”

Dianna smiled a little as, despite the fact that she was soaking wet, she grew warm inside. While Luna would object, and perhaps violently so, Dianna quickly decided it would be worth it, “I think another lunch date is in order.”


	9. The Fruit of the Poor Lemon is Impossible to Eat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Lemon Tree" by Will Holt, though I think of the Peter, Paul and Mary version my parents played a lot when I was growing up. 
> 
> And those of you who follow this series knows it gets dark. Read at your own risk from here on out.

Lina looked at the cake recipe and moaned, and then she wondered just how badly Luna would chew her out for asking her to bake a cake for Attie’s birthday party. As she debated whether or not it would be a greater pain to do it herself or to ask her sister when she came over for dinner that evening, the door opened, and Dianna waltzed in holding a bouquet of orange marigolds, and as Lina looked at her, it became apparent that she was glowing with the rush of an early love affair.

“Good, you’re both here.” Dianna said as she went up and hugged Gourry and then walked over to hug her. “I’ve got news.”

“Oh?” Lina asked.

Dianna grabbed a vase to put the flowers in and announced. “I’m engaged!”

Lina and Gourry looked at each other. “Wait.” Lina said. “What do you mean?”

“Kenneth asked me. I said yes.”

“But you barely know each other!” Lina protested.

“That’s rich.” Dianna said as she filled the vase with a water spell, “How long after you two met did you start practically living together?”

Lina yelled, “We didn’t get married until three years after we met!”

“But you started traveling with each other, sharing rooms…”

“Oh for Pete’s sake.” Lina exclaimed as she threw her hands up in the air and looked at Gourry for support, “Two different things!”

“When you have that connection, you know.” Dianna said as she placed the marigolds in the vase and started to arrange them. “And we have that connection!”

“It’s more than about connection.” Gourry said quietly, “And Dianna, everyone wants to want to find love and companionship. But there’s a third person in your relationship.”

Dianna’s eyes flashed as she turned on him, “I’ve got him under control in ways I never have before! Becoming a midwife, it’s been the key to keeping him down.”

“You can’t afford to let your guard down with this, Di!” Lina said, “The consequences are too dire!”

“And I don’t want to live my life too scared of what happens if he gets control that I don’t get to do the things that everyone else gets to do!” Di yelled as tears started to stream down her face. “Honestly, why can’t you just be happy for me?”

Lina opened her mouth to protest, but Gourry put a hand on her arm. Lina threw her arms up and turned around, and Gourry ran a hand through his hair. “Dianna, what happened the last time you were overconfident?”

“It’s different this time!” Dianna insisted.

“That may be. But help us feel more comfortable with this. For one thing you know we can’t risk telling Kenneth.”

“I’ve already told him that there are things he will never know about me!” Dianna shot back, “He’s okay with it. Look, I’ve got old Ruby Eyes under control! I won’t slip again!”

“That’s a dangerous attitude.” Gourry said, “That’s how Drake ended up getting hurt.”

Dianna stiffened. “It’s different now.”

“And what if something bad happens? Just humor me. What if Kenneth has a wandering eye. You haven’t known him that long.” Lina said.

“He would never!” Dianna protested, “He’s a good man! He’s got a good job, he loves me, and the sex is incredible...”

“I don’t need to know that!” Lina yelled as Gourry buried his face in his hands. 

Dianna smiled in her disconcerting manner, and Lina felt her temper boil and she folded her arms across her stomach and said, “I think it’s time we brought Aunt Luna in on this discussion.”

As if on cue, Min and Attie walked in, laughing and giggling with their aunt. When they saw that their parents were obviously having a row with Dianna their mirth vanished, “What is it?” Luna asked.

Dianna smiled widely as she walked up to Luna and hugged her, “Kenneth and I are engaged!”

Min gasped as Attie’s jaw dropped while Luna stiffened as Dianna pulled away, and then she raised her fists, “I love him. There’s nothing you can do to stop me! I will fight you and slay you to prove how serious I am.”

Luna slapped her, “You silly little lovesick fool! Do you really think he’s going to let you have a happy family? That he’ll let you have such a vested interested in seeing the world continue? You’re leaving the door wide open for him to get control!”

“But I’ve never had more control over him!” Dianna shot back.

“He’s lulling you into a false sense of security!”

“You’re wrong. I’m stronger than him now!”

“I’m starting to think I’ve been too easy on you!” Luna said as she grabbed Dianna by the arm.

“What are you going to do? Lock me away? You can’t stop me!” Dianna yelled as she pulled back to punch her. Luna blocked the blow and grabbed her arm and pulled her forward until she had her pinned to the wall.

Dianna kicked her away as everyone started screaming. But then Attie moved so she was in between them, holding both of them at arm’s length from each other before she turned to Luna, “If you’re going to fight her you’ll have to fight me too!”

“What?” Luna said, mystified as Lina and Gourry looked at each other in shock.

“You heard me!” Attie said defiantly, “You act like you own us! And you don’t! You’re not even our mother! We don’t have to listen to you!”

Dianna looked stunned at the fact that she had people on her side as Min joined Attie to stand beside her. “Attie’s right.” Min said, “You’ll have to fight me, too.”

“I’m surprised at you Min, after what happened with Drake.” Luna said.

“The times I’ve been safer have been when Dianna is happy and has what she wants.” Min explained, “Keeping her from Kenneth won’t make her happy. It will just give her reasons to be jealous whenever I decide to get married, or when Attie gets married. I’m sorry Aunt Luna, but I think you’re wrong here.”

“And what about when Shabranigdu forces her to destroy everything she has?” Luna asked as Lina collapsed into a chair and started cradling her head in her hands, “Because he will. Letting her have a happy family would go against his goals.”

“Well, maybe then rather than telling me that I’m going to fail before I’ve had a chance, you should help me succeed here!” Dianna said as her voice wavered.

“You’re thinking like a naïve child.” Luna said. “And there’s too much at stake here! If he gains control…”

“What are you going to do, rule her life forever?” Attie asked. 

“It’s not just me.” Luna said, as she looked at Lina and Gourry. “I hardly think your mother approves of this match, Dianna.” 

“I don’t. I think it’s a mistake and I think Di is being reckless.” Lina said as she raised her head, “That said, when I really think about it, not even Hellmaster Phibrizo could keep me from Gourry. We’re not going to win this one, Sis. And the girls do have a point. Dianna will be eighteen in four months. She can move out on her own, get married. If we force her to stay under our control she’s just going to run away and then we’d lose her. Ultimately this is her choice to make, even if we don’t agree with it.”

Luna’s widened as Gourry put an arm around Lina’s shoulders in support, and then she looked at her nieces and realized that she was gravely outnumbered. Dianna smiled sardonically. Gourry added softly, “We can’t stop her from growing up. We don’t have the right.”

“We have the right because the world is at stake!”

“Just because your Ceiphied’s favorite doesn’t mean you know how to live my life!” Dianna said. “I know what I’m doing!”

“Luna,” Gourry said softly, “Any plan we come up with is going to work a lot better if Di likes it. If we fight with her it just drives her to him, doesn’t it?”

Luna was silent, and Min quietly added, “Dianna has already lost so much because of Shabranigdu, because she was cursed by the god you serve so devotedly. It wouldn’t be fair for her to lose this as well.”

“So be it then.” Luna cursed as she stormed to the door, threw it open and then slammed it behind her.

Lina put her hands to her temples as she said, “Well I guess I’m going to have to bake the damn cake myself now.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” Lina said, “You three, get somewhere that isn’t here.”

“Right, Mom.” They said as they went into Dianna’s room. Dianna stopped to grab the vase before she left and they closed the door behind them. 

As soon as they did, they could hear Lina yelling at Gourry, “I warned you! I warned you that this would happen if you kept bringing young men home!”

Dianna sat down on her bed and set the flowers on her nightstand as they tried to ignore their parents’ fight as Min said, “They are beautiful. He was asking about your favorite flowers.”

Attie sat down beside Dianna as she said, “I didn’t think you’d stand up for me.”

“Aunt Luna meddles too much.” Min said, “I don’t know how you stand to spend as much time with her as you do.”

“I sure wish Mom would tell her to piss off sometimes. She’s the only person I see her bow down to.” Attie added, “But I can’t say I wasn’t thinking about all of our interests. If she can tell you who you can and can’t marry then she’ll think she can tell me the same!”

Dianna wrapped an arm around her as she smiled, “It felt good to know that I wasn’t alone. I thought everyone would tell me it was a bad idea!”

“If he gives you some happiness then I’m happy for you.” Min said as they all tensed for a moment as their parents’ fight grew louder.

They could hear the front door open and Lina yell, “Oh don’t you dare walk out on me! Not when I’m winning! Dammit!”

It slammed shut again, and a few minutes later they could hear Lina throwing things around in the kitchen as she vented. The sisters flinched, and then Dianna smiled awkwardly, “So, slumber party in my room tonight?”

Attie and Min nodded as Attie said, “Yeah, there’s no way in hell I’m chancing going out there tonight. Not even to go to my room!”

* * *

After Dianna and Kenneth’s small wedding ceremony, they moved into a cottage close to where Lina and Gourry lived. They had strongly insisted to Dianna that they only be a block away just in case. While Dianna chaffed a bit, given that she had grown up being locked in her room every night, moving to her own place still offered considerably more freedom than she had ever had before, and it more than made up for the restrictions. At first Lina and Gourry were terrified of what Dianna would do without them keeping such a close eye on her. But she was so preoccupied with her job and new marriage that as the first month faded they slowly started to relax. That was until Dianna and Kenneth came over one morning and excitedly announced that she was pregnant, and to say it was a test of Lina’s resolve to be supportive of Dianna’s adult life choices was an understatement. Somehow she and Gourry managed to offer their congratulations even if a pit formed in Lina’s stomach. While there was a part of Lina that was excited about getting a grandchild, it was vastly overwhelmed by her fear of what Dianna would do to a helpless child if her rage was provoked. 

As soon as Dianna left Lina hoped that her lack of enthusiasm didn’t show. Dianna had been hurt that they’d been too scared to be genuinely happy for her when she’d gotten married, and now that she was having a baby Lina didn’t want her to feel her hesitancy. Still, as soon as the door had shut behind them Lina smacked Gourry upside the head, “This just keeps getting worse and worse! What are we going to do?”

“Well, Di has been more stable since she got this job.” Gourry said. “Perhaps it will be alright?”

“Rezo was also a healer.” Lina countered. “It wasn’t enough for him.”

“But he couldn’t let go of trying to cure his blindness.” Gourry said, “Dianna can see. She has everything that she wants. She’d have no reason to conduct such horrible experiments and maim her children or grandchildren.”

Lina scowled, “Gourry, you are the most patient person I have ever met, but back when we had three kids under the age of six, even you would lose it and snap sometimes!”

Gourry exhaled, “Okay, I see your point.”

“I wish you’d seen it before you brought Kenneth home.” Lina snarked.

Gourry shook his head as he got up and muttered, “I’m going for a walk.”

* * *

Dianna pulled her nightgown over her head, and debated between waiting up a little bit longer and just going to bed. Kenneth often picked up extra shifts at work. Now that he had a roof over his head he was terrified of losing it and could never refuse extra work. They also wanted to set aside as much money as possible once the baby arrived, meaning she often wasn’t sure when he would be home. It could be any minute, or it could be hours. All the same, while the morning sickness was getting better, between the energy drain that came from growing a child and the frequent late nights her job required, she was simply exhausted. As she brushed her hair out she decided she should get what sleep she could. She didn’t sense that anyone would pop that night, and she knew she needed to get what rest she could when she could.

A cramp built within her, and she gasped as she grabbed the vanity. At first she’d hoped it was just a sign that the baby was growing, but then she felt something tear within her as blood started to course down her thighs as the pain grew in intensity. The realization of what was happening morphed at the edge of her mind but she couldn’t bear to face it. She’d seen it happen to other women and she couldn’t stand the thought of walking that path. Her conscious mind retreated as she stood up, her expression blank, as she started to walk to the door.

Before she reached it Kenneth opened it and came in, “Hey honey.” He said, and then his face morphed into horror as he saw the blood staining her nightdress. “Dianna, we’ve got to get you to bed!”

Dianna didn’t acknowledge him as she continued to walk mechanically to the door, and he felt sick as he saw that the blood was trailing on the floor where she walked. He grabbed her arm but she pulled away as Kenneth felt panic rise within him at the amount of blood there was and the sense that if he didn’t get her help soon he would risk losing her as well. He moved to pick her up, but she evaded him as she grabbed his arm and snapped it back until it broke. He cried out as she let him go, and then without a trace of emotion on her face she walked out of the house and towards the woods. He shook his head as he realized that whatever was happening he was way in over his head, and he ran to Lina and Gourry’s house.

“Help!” he cried as he opened the door with his good arm. His in-laws were seated around their table playing cards, and they turned to look at him in alarm.

“What’s wrong?” Gourry asked.

“It’s Di. I think she’s losing the baby, but she’s walking to the woods, I tried to get her to go to bed but she attacked me and then she just kept walking.” He said as he indicated his arm, and Min came over to look at it as he added desperately, “I couldn’t stop her!”

Gourry and Lina both lost the color to their faces as they glanced at each other and then bolted from the house.

“I’ll fetch a midwife.” Attie said, and then she followed them out of the house.

“I should go with them.” Kenneth said, the frustration unconcealed in his voice. 

Min calmly said, “You’re injured. You’re not going anywhere, I’ll give you a healing spell.”

“But Dianna…” 

“You can’t do anything for her now. Especially since you’re injured.” She said as she started chanting.

“But why can’t I help?” he asked desperately, but she gave him no answer as she continued to work on healing him.

* * *

There was a faint red aura surrounding Dianna when Gourry and Lina caught up to her, and he felt his stomach turn as he watched as she tended to her altar. “Dianna?” he said.

“She no longer resides here.” She said in a cold voice that Gourry had never heard her use before. “She couldn’t bear to face life without her baby. Her consciousness crumbled the moment she realized what was happening and now she isn’t here to fight me.”

“Dianna, please!” Gourry begged, hoping that there was a shred of her left in there somewhere. Already the energy was changing as it formed in her hands. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Gourry unsheathed his sword and resolved to defend only. He couldn’t fathom actually killing her. But could he leave Lina to carry the burden? Was this really something that they could do?

“Dianna please, you can have another baby, you’re so young.”

She hurled a beam of energy at him, and he bisected it, and his heart raced as he noticed that her nightdress was soaked in blood. It was even starting to pool at her feet. Lina cried. “Dianna, Dianna please!” she said.

But Dianna hurled another spell at them. Gourry got in front of Lina to defend her, and tried to not think about how he was giving Lina time to chant so she could kill Dianna. Lina herself was hesitating. Usually she chanted as soon as she could, but now she wasn’t.

Dianna moved towards them, impossibly fast. Lina finally started chanting. But before she could reach them Dianna pitched forward as she cried out in pain, and Lina and Gourry froze as she collapsed onto the ground. They stared at her cautiously, but it was easy to see that her skirts were drenched in blood and sticking to her leg. There was a moment of fear that it could have been a tactic to lull them into a false sense of security, but it was drowned under the weight of the knowledge that if she had lost such a severe amount of blood that it would knock her out at the moment when Shabranigdu was gaining power, then she was terribly ill.

Lina raced forward and felt her forehead. “She’s cold.” Lina exclaimed, and then she looked at the blood. Lina had never had a miscarriage and wasn’t sure what was normal, but it looked like way too much.

Gourry picked Dianna up. She didn’t budge. And then they raced to her house, and were relieved that Attie was already waiting there with one of the midwives.

* * *

“But why did this happen?” Kenneth asked as Dianna slept in the next room.

“Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.” Lina said lifelessly as Attie, who had been cuddled up to her, got up and walked to the bathroom.

“Barbara said she had never seen a uterine rupture like this for a first time pregnancy, especially in the second trimester!” Kenneth said, his voice frantic as he paced the living room. “And then how was she so strong? She broke my arm like it was a twig!”

“When people are stressed they can develop super strength.” Gourry said.

“There’s something more going on here.” Kenneth said as he paced the room angrily, but Lina and Gourry were both too tired to say much as they leaned against each other for support while Min held Gourry’s hand. The worst had happened, and they had nearly had to kill Dianna. Or be killed by her. And when she woke up, they had no idea if she would be in control or Shabranigdu.

Eventually Kenneth collapsed in a chair and buried his face in his hands. Lina stood up and said, “I’m going to make some tea.”

As she walked to the kitchen, Attie came back and grabbed Min’s arm, “I need to talk to you!”

“What?” Min asked.

“Follow me.”

“Everything okay?” Gourry asked.

“Fine.” Attie said as she blushed and then rushed back into the bathroom.

Gourry looked at Min, and Min chuckled, “I think she just became a woman. Nothing to worry about, Dad, I’ll deal with this.”

“Thank you.” He said as Min got up and followed Attie.

As soon as they left Lina came in with a tray set with tea cups on it and handed one to Kenneth, who took a good sip. Once the girls came out, Lina glanced at them and said, “I want you two to go home and get some rest.”

Lina did not want them there if Dianna woke up and had merged with Shabranigdu, and thankfully neither of them protested and they said their goodbyes and left. As soon as they left, Kenneth started snoring as he slept upright in his chair. Lina relaxed a little as Gourry looked as her suspiciously. “You didn’t?”

“We can’t risk him finding out.”

“What did you give him?”

“Just a bit of something to make him sleepy.” Lina explained. “Come on. Let’s go into the bedroom. She should be waking soon.”

And when they went into the bedroom, Gourry glanced at Dianna and noted that her eyes were open. Gourry touched Lina’s arm, and she straightened. There was no red aura, but no sign that they could really relax. “Di?” Gourry asked.

She said nothing as she stared at him. Tentatively Gourry asked, “How are you feeling?”

Dianna still said nothing as she stared at them blankly. Gourry looked a Lina, and Lina moved to sit on the bed and put a hand on her knee as she explained, “Dianna, you have to pull yourself together! Barbara said she’d never seen anything like it. Your uterus ruptured, like mine did when I was giving birth to you. She said she’d never seen something like this happen so early in a pregnancy. There’s one explanation. Dianna, Shabranigdu killed your baby so he would force you to usher in the world’s destruction. And if you stop fighting him now, you let him get away with it!”

At first Dianna showed no sign of reaction. But then tears started to slide down her cheeks, and Lina felt relief wash through her as she realized that they had pulled her back. Suddenly she cried, “Daddy!”

Gourry went over to hug her as she started to sob as Lina nearly collapsed bonelessly onto the bed. They had staved off her worse nightmare for another day. But she felt far from victorious.

* * *

Lina lay on the couch, exhausted, as she tried not to think about how close they had come. Gourry was staying with Dianna and Kenneth so she could get some rest before they switched. Kenneth had yet to wake up, and Dianna, exhausted from her ordeal, had quickly cried herself to sleep. Lina knew she should rest, but the adrenaline was still pounding through her system and she couldn’t.

Attie came in, and Lina managed to give her a tired smile as she patted the couch beside her, “Come and sit down.”

Attie did, “How are you doing?”

“I’ll live.” Lina said.

“How’s Di?”

Lina shook her head, “Heartbroken.”

“Let me know if there is any way I can help.” Attie said.

Lina looked at her and ran a hand through her hair. “Min told me your period started.”

Attie blushed, “I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Hey, I don’t ever want to be so caught up in other things that what is happening to you isn’t a big deal!” Lina said. “Once your father gets home we’ll take you to the temple, and then for some ice cream afterwards.”

“It’s not a big deal. Taking care of Dianna right now is more important.”

“It is a big deal!” Lina said. “It’s not every day you become a woman. Besides, these silly little rituals seem more relevant now. The world could have ended today, you know?”

“I guess I can see that.” Attie said with a small smile. “Still, I don’t see the point of celebrating the event that heralds in the loss of my powers for a few days each month.”

Lina laughed dryly, “Well, when you put it like that. If you’re that set against it we can continue as always.”

“No, it’s fine.” Attie said. “I’m not going to turn down the chance for ice cream.”

* * *

The room that the priestess had shown Attie to was small and dark, lit only by some ceremonial candles and heavily scented with incense. In all, it was an intense sensory experience, and as Attie sat there she couldn’t wait for it to be over. 

As she wondered how much longer she would have to sit there she started to focus on the patterns that the smoke was making, and she nearly cried out as she saw a young girl in the room with her. Attie’s heart lurched as the knowledge settled within her that she was seeing into the future and getting a glimpse of her own daughter, at around the same age that Attie was then! The name Corentina seemed to ring through the air. She felt a rush of love shoot through her as she reached her hand out, mesmerized by the brilliant blue shade of Corentina’s eyes, but then she froze as the sun moved and revealed a long red shadow behind Corentina. Attie placed her hand over her mouth as she nearly cried out, and suddenly the vision vanished.

Attie moved to the door, desperate to get out of the cramped room and to breath in fresh air as she tried to figure out what she had seen. A prophecy? Had it been a genuine prophecy? And if it was a prophecy, did it mean that she was doomed to have a daughter, cursed like Dianna with a shard of Shrabranigdu in her soul?

Attie thought about what Dianna had been through just in the past twenty-four hours, and suddenly felt as though she was going to throw up. How could she expect a child to go through that? How could she bring her into the world knowing what she would suffer? Tears started to leak from her eyes as she felt torn between the desire to give life to the beautiful girl she had seen and her fear of what she would be forcing her to endure if she did. 

Attie took a deep breath, but it was hardly calming thanks to all of the incense. And then she reminded herself that just because a prophecy is made doesn’t mean it will come to pass. She had to remember that. She had to get it together before the door opened and her parents sensed something was wrong. She couldn’t bother them with this, not now. Dianna was still so sick and weak. For all she knew there could have been something very potent in the damn incense and she was just hallucinating. What she had seen had to be a result of the incense and nothing more.

She hoped.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from “I’ve Been Waiting For You” from “Mama Mia: Here We Go Again.” Accidentally catching that video on Youtube not only had me in tears but convinced me that maybe I did need to see the sequel.

“How is she?” Gourry asked as Lina came in from staying with Dianna while Kenneth was at work, and Gourry noted that she looked worried and exhausted.

“She’s out of her mind!” Lina whined as she collapsed on the couch beside him, “She and Kenneth were vowing that they would try again! Can you believe it? How can she not see that if Shabranigdu did this to her once he’ll do it again?”

“I don’t know. You went on the have Minny and Attie after nearly dying when you gave birth to Di.” He pointed out.

“That’s different,” Lina snapped, “I don’t have a shard of Shabranigdu in my soul. I didn’t damn near take the whole world with me during my brush with death!”

The knowledge that they had come close to the point they had always feared asserted itself once more, and Gourry exhaled as he rubbed his temples, “I can’t argue there. The stakes have gotten so much higher. Before I was just so scared she would attack someone and be sent to prison, or that she might even kill someone during one of her rages. And what gets me is that as terrible as those fears are, her destroying the world makes them seem so small in comparison.”

“Exactly!” Lina pounced, “It’s not just her desires here, it’s what’s best for the world! Ugh. I did pull her aside and ask her how she intended to carry a child to term. She said she was going to meditate and learn to control her body, as if there’s some vault of ancient wisdom out there that she can unlocked and learn the ways to stop him from doing this! She also says that if she loses the next one she won’t lose control again because she will remember he did it to her. She’s just so stubborn! I don’t even know what to do anymore!”

Beside her Gourry pulled away as he braced himself. She looked up at him and asked, “What?”

“Well, this is the time you usually tell me it’s all my fault for bringing Kenneth home.”

Lina’s eyes widened as she stared at him for a few moments, and Gourry continued to keep his defenses armed as the silence grew intolerably loud. But then to his surprise tears started streaming down her cheeks, and she quickly rushed to wipe them away with her hands. “You’re crying?” he asked, stunned.

“Well, you once told me I could. After I’d killed a friend.” She shot back as she reached into her pocket for a handkerchief and blew her nose, “I’ve had to live with that for twenty years. Killing Luke. Every day it haunts me. And I’ve been so terrified that I’ll have to learn what it’s like to live with having to kill our daughter, because I’m not sure that I can do that! I’ve been so scared of it I can’t even think right at times it seems! And last week it nearly happened, if things had been different, if Shabranigdu hadn’t wounded her so badly in the process that we got lucky, I could be sitting here with her blood on my hands!”

He put a hand on her knee as he felt things shift between them as she looked into his eyes as she grabbed his hands, “The thing is, it hit me, I got through having to kill Luke because you were by my side. And wherever things are going with Dianna, I mean, I want to believe that there will be happiness for her, but the path she’s going down I don’t know how that will happen. And since there’s not a lot I’m going to be able to do to stop her from trying to have a baby, then I’m going to need you by my side again. Because if we’re together we can get through whatever life throws at us.”

“Come here,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap as she buried her face into his chest and he rested his head over hers, “I should have thought more about what you carry.”

“If it hadn’t been Kenneth, it would have been someone else. I can slay Shabranigdu but I can’t stop her from growing up. It would have happened eventually.” 

They held each other for a moment as the love they felt for each other resurged anew, and he said, “Twenty years later, and I still love you, Lina Inverse.”

“Back at you, Gourry Gabriev.” She said, and then they moved so they could kiss each other just as the front door opened.

Min’s eyes widened as she saw them, and they barely paused in their efforts. She shook her head as she said, “I’ll just walk straight to my room and pretend I saw nothing.”

When Min got to the room she still shared with Attie (who had never bothered to move to Dianna’s old room after she’d moved out), she was a bit surprised to see her in bed even though it was late in the afternoon. “You okay?” Min asked.

“Just haven’t been sleeping well lately.” Attie said.

“I’ve noticed! I could have sworn you were having a bad dream last night. Everything okay?”

“Just growing pains.” Attie replied.

Min looked her sharply, “No one’s been bothering you, have they?”

“No!” Attie protested as Min sat on her bed and took her shoes off, “Nothing like that. It’s nothing, really. Anyway, took them long enough to make up this time.”

“I knew it would happen eventually.” Min commented. “Though I guess they worried me a bit this time. Still, with the bond they have, having destroyed the enemies that they have, I can’t ever see them being mad at each other for too long. I just hope I can be as happy with Drake as they are with each other one day.”

“I’m starting to think it’s too much work.” Attie replied as she swung her legs out of the bed so she was sitting up in it.

Min looked at her in surprise. “But I thought you wanted to get married one day!”

Attie shrugged, “The more I think about it the more of a hassle it seems, you know?”

Min looked at her again, “Are you sure nothing happened?”

“Positive.” Attie replied as she got out of bed, but Min could not shake the feeling that she was hiding something. “Anyway, I’m going to a slumber party tonight. Best get ready!”

* * *

It was a little over a year after Dianna had married Kenneth that she suffered her third miscarriage. While she never lost control like she had the first time, recovering emotionally from them got harder and harder. Especially as Kenneth got frustrated by her lack of desire to see a healer about why she was unable to carry to term.

Her work, which used to be a source of joy, became a dreaded task. On the one hand she needed the job to help her manage her sadistic tendencies. Yet being around pregnant, laboring women who were soon in awe of their perfect infants took its own toll. Still, Dianna endured it. She tended to get the high risk cases and the thought of women dying in childbirth was intolerable to her. Her reputation as the midwife who had never lost a mother was growing, and she couldn’t back away when women were dependent on her to see them through the trial safely.

The emotional energy she used at work left her little reserves for anything else. So when her family started talking about their plans to go to Zefiel City’s Annual Grape Stomp, she was not in the least bit interested. But Kenneth insisted that it would be good for her to get out and socialize, so she dragged herself out of bed, and they went with her parents and sisters. But as soon as they got there the fact that everyone seemed happy and giddy with the euphoria for life that accompanied the grape stomp was so at odds with how dead Dianna felt inside that she wished she hadn’t bothered.

She heard Drake call out for Min, and saw her sister light up as she waved him over, and Dianna deliberately avoided looking at Kenneth. She remembered when they would light up when they would see each other. Now it was getting to the point where she was relieved when he would leave!

Dianna gasped as the wind was knocked out of her, and she looked down to see a young girl, no older than five, had run into her. Red flashed before her eyes as she pulled her fist back to punch her as she yelled, “Watch where you’re going you little brat!” 

Before she could, Gourry grabbed her arm and pulled Dianna from the girl as he looked at her evenly, and Dianna felt as though she had been doused in ice water as she felt the eyes of everyone in the immediate vicinity start to stare at her. And then a sinking feeling in her stomach grew. She’d not lashed out in anger like that since becoming a midwife! She’d thought she’d overcome the rage! But she’d gone back to work a week ago. It shouldn’t have been an issue! And if it hadn’t been for her father she would have punched a little kid!

It quickly got worse as the child’s mother looked at her in alarm as she spat before she ran off with her girl, “No wonder you can’t have a child!”

Dianna bit her lip as out of the corner of her eye she saw Drake walk away and Min chase after him. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Kenneth as Gourry said, “Let’s get you home.”

* * *

Dianna dreaded the moment when her father would leave her alone with Kenneth. But once her husband had gotten home he’d made it clear that he wanted to talk with her alone. Dianna stared out the window and watched as her father walked down the road to her childhood home, and Kenneth wasted little time in asking, “What the hell happened back there?”

“I warned you about the rages.” Dianna said, her voice drained of life.

“You nearly punched a child! For no good reason!”

Dianna closed her eyes, “I know. I thought I had it under control. I don’t know what went wrong.”

“Can you even cope with the demands of raising a child?” he asked.

That he had lost confidence in her there punctured through the veil of numbness she felt, and tore a sharp pain in her heart, “Well if I had one I wouldn’t be depressed that I don’t have one! It would make things a damn bit easier!”

“But why do we keep losing them? And why won’t you talk to one of the midwives about it? Look into it?”

She felt her throat swell, and she glanced back at the window, desperately wanting to escape the conversation as he continued, “Is it because you know the reason that they’re happening?”

Dianna felt tears slide down her cheeks. When she first pursued him she never could have imagined that keeping the secret would have been this hard! Still, she was sure if she told him the truth he would leave then and there and set the mob on her. As Luna had grilled into her from a young age, she could tell no one.

Her silence seemed to be all of the confirmation he needed as he yelled as he drew closer to her, “You know more than you’re telling me!”

“I’ve told you,” Dianna flared back, “there are things that you can never know about me!”

“But is this related to what is happening? Is this what’s killing our children?” Kenneth demanded to know, “Because then I have a right to know! The situation changed, Di!”

Dianna folded her arms and looked out the window. Kenneth sighed. “I spoke to Drake. He says among lawyer’s there’s a saying that two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead and that after years of knowing your family he’s come to the conclusion that if it’s so bad no one will talk about it then he doesn’t want to know. But I need to know. I need to know why! Surely it can’t be as bad as the things I’m imagining!”

There was a part of Dianna that longed to tell him. Perhaps he wouldn’t reject her. Perhaps he still loved her enough that he would tell her that they would face this together. But the fear that he would turn on her was greater. How could she expect him to do the former when the thing corrupting her soul was so evil? She turned so her back was towards him as she said, “Then stop imagining.”

“Dianna, please!”

“I’m not saying anything more about this!” she yelled as she stormed off to their bedroom. 

She didn’t see how red in the face he got as he raced to the front door, “Don’t wait up for me.”

* * *

Dianna had been worried when she’d received a note from an errand boy that her parents wanted to see her. She was even more surprised when she walked into their home and found them seated around the table with Min. “Come and sit down.” Gourry said.

Dianna did, and noted how Min’s right hand was placed over her left one. Dianna felt her heart sink a little, but she managed to smile a little as she said, “May I presume that you’re hiding the biggest ring in existence?”

Min uncovered her hand, “Yes. Drake got the promotion. We’re getting married next year.”

Dianna did her best to push her latest fight with Kenneth from her mind as she reached forward to hug her, “Congratulations!”

Everyone in the room relaxed, and Gourry said, “We need to talk about some difficult things. Min and Drake are wanting to start a family soon.”

“I get it.” Dianna said quickly. “And on that note. Kenneth is getting suspicious and demanding answers, and you know I can’t tell him. So we were talking the other night about how we should take a break for a bit. Let me recover some, get back in my right frame of mind and mend things with Kenneth. I’m thinking, I shouldn’t even try to have another baby until Min has one, that way instead of feeling jealous, I will look forward to the arrival of her children.”

She watched as her parents looked at each other nervously, and she had the sense that they had hoped she would completely abandon the idea of having a child. But Dianna couldn’t give it up. The need was so deep and powerful that she couldn’t ignore it, not forever! But for the moment, she also couldn’t tolerate losing another one. She would need to research more, find better ways of controlling her body and getting power back from Shabranigdu so it wouldn’t happen again.

Still, she was relieved when, rather than argue with her, Lina said, “Well, that sounds like a plan.”

* * *

“Good work there, Attie.” Eric, one of Attie’s fellow trainees in the program to become a detective, said after they had finished training.

“Thanks,” Attie said as she smiled a little as the compliment warmed her as she gathered her stuff and prepared to go home. 

But then Eric came up to her, “I was wondering if you would like to go to that dance together.”

“Together?” Attie repeated as she blushed. She was used to boys hitting on her older sisters while ignoring her. Now that one was paying her some attention she wasn’t sure what to do, especially since the attention was definitely welcome! She had harbored a secret crush on Eric for some weeks now.

But before the euphoria could take hold and she could say yes, she thought of her vision, and a sense of dread filled her. What if she went to the dance with Eric and they fell in love and had a child cursed with Shabranigdu? While she had desperately wanted to dismiss and forget the vision that she’d had, it had been persistent in invading her dreams, and every night since that day she had dreamt of having a child cursed like Dianna. It was a different situation every time. In some dreams she wouldn’t survive giving birth to her. In others she would survive but would have to kill Corentina to protect the world. And then when Dianna suffered something horrible she would dream about watching her daughter go through something similar. And while Attie wanted to believe that it hadn’t affected her at all, the truth was that she was petrified. Before she’d had the vision she was sure that her future included becoming established as a detective and finding someone to settle down with. But that future was starting to seem impossible.

Silence awkwardly filled the room as Attie warred with her desire to say yes and the fear of what would happen if she did. Eventually Eric looked abashed as he backed away from her and said, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Attie managed to squeak, and then she ran from the room, and as she raced home, she wondered how she could possibly ever go back to training now and face him. Still, the closer she drew to home the more convinced she became that she’d done the right thing. It may have hurt him in the short term, but she was sure that raising a child like Dianna would tear any other family apart and that in the long term she was saving him a lot of heartbreak. 

Much as she’d wanted it to be otherwise, she couldn’t discount that she’d had a prophecy. She couldn’t risk it! The future that she’d thought was waiting for her was gone. The problem was she wasn’t sure what to put into its place.

* * *

Lina was relieved when she saw Attie laying on the couch as she got home, though she noted that she’d looked as though she’d been crying. “Attie, is everything alright? They said you resigned.”

“Yeah. I did.” Attie said. Lina waited for her to explain, but she was silent as she scooted over to make room on the couch for her mother.

“But you’d been doing so well.” Lina said, mystified. “No one can make any sense of it!”

“It just wasn’t liking it.” Attie said.

Lina looked at her, “No one was mistreating you, were they?”

“Oh no, nothing like that!” Attie reassured her. “Everyone was very kind.”

Lina looked at her piercingly, “You’re not going to give me the full details, are you?”

“What more is there to say? It just wasn’t liking it.”

Lina felt exasperated. Until a week ago Attie had been happy and progressing with her training. And then suddenly she hadn’t. “Well, then. What are you going to do now?” Lina asked.

“I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”

Lina was silent for a moment as she looked at Attie with a pensive expression on her face. She’d thought back to how Attie had talked about traveling until Lina had spoken to her and pitched being a detective as more attractive. Lina thought about how she would have suffocated if she’d stayed in Zefiel City, under her sister’s shadow, and had never had a chance to establish her own identity. What if, with two older sisters who were becoming rather accomplished in their own careers, Attie was feeling similarly smothered? While something didn’t seem right about that idea, Lina was at a loss for how else to explain what was happening.

Lina’s heart grew heavy. While she knew she shouldn’t have favorites, Dianna and Min had both grown closer to Gourry than to her, while Attie was her baby who had always clung to her. That she was also the one who had been bitten by the travel bug was hard. But if it was what had happened, Lina knew that she couldn’t keep her. It would end up destroying her. Somehow she managed to keep her voice even as she said, “You know, your grandfather is going on a supply run after Min’s wedding. He’s also getting old and really shouldn’t be doing them anymore. Perhaps you should go with him and let him show you the ropes, and you can take over that aspect of the business?”

“Really?” Attie said as she brightened. “But why doesn’t he show Dad?”

“Because your dad gets to travel again only if I get to travel again!” Lina snapped, “And I’ve been so busy with the guild, and really, Dianna needs me. It’s not going to happen.”

“But I thought you couldn’t stand to be away from me.”

“Well, I won’t like it.” Lina said. “But if it’s what you need to do to find yourself, then I’m not going to suffocate you by keeping you with me. When I left to see the world it taught me so much. Perhaps it will help you as well.”

Attie hugged her, “Thank you.”

They were silent for a moment, and then Attie said, “Could you teach me the spell that reveals him?”

“What?” Lina asked, thoroughly caught off guard.

“The spell the reveals if someone has Shabranigdu in their soul.”

“That’s no spell to mess with. If a Mazoku found out about it…”

“I know, I’ll be so careful! I just keep thinking of Dianna, and all that she has suffered. At least she knows why though. That gave our family an advantage.”

Lina exhaled a breath, “I can’t argue that. I’d been convinced I was a horrible mother or something until we found out.”

“And that’s just it. Other people and other families out there wouldn’t know. And if I could identify them, then I could help them.” 

Lina shook her head, “I’ll have to think about that.”

“It’s also to our advantage to know where the other ones are!” Attie said, “What was it the Claire Bible told you? That this was a critical point in the reincarnation cycle? That more people who carry him in their souls are at risk of merging with him.”

“And what are you going to do if you find them?” Lina asked, “Look, you’re strong, but you can’t manage Chaos Magic. You can’t do the spells I have. I’m not saying this to hurt you…”

“I know.” Attie snapped, “But I could stop them before they got to that point.”

Once again, Lina had the sense that Attie wasn’t telling her everything. But something about finding the others seemed very important to her. Eventually Lina said, “Let me think about it. Talk to Sis.”

“It’s just, I’ll never be able to rest until I find them. Even though we know why Dianna has been suffering horribly. I can’t bear to think of how much worse it would be for the people who don’t know why! If I could bring them that solace, then I would have peace.”

Lina shook her head, “What brought this on?”

“Just don’t say you’re going to talk to Aunt Luna as a way of getting out of saying no and having her do it. It means a lot to me to do this!”

Lina grabbed her hand, “I can see that. And I will keep it in mind. Anyway, I guess we should stop by your grandparents, let Grandpa know that he has a new partner.”

Attie smiled as she got up, and she started to feel excited about the future again. She could travel, find the other hosts, and once she knew where they were, she would be free to settle down and have her own children, secure in the knowledge that if all of the hosts were living then she couldn’t have a child cursed with him. It was all so perfect! Once more Attie grabbed her mother and gave her a big hug, “Thank you!”

* * *

Lina stood beside Gourry and waved as Attie walked off with her grandfather, and she did her best not to cry. Eventually Attie had prevailed in convincing Luna that learning the reveal spell was for the best, and Lina had taught it to her, and soon Attie had been beaming with such newfound purpose that the glow she had rivaled Min’s blushing bride one. Still, Attie stayed around for Min’s grandiose wedding and saw her and Drake established in their own home, and wasted little time in flying the nest herself. As Lina found herself sniffing, Gourry said, “She’ll be back in a few weeks.” 

“And then she’ll be gone again, off on the next adventure. I know her. She has my wanderlust.” Lina said. “I guess its karma. I was gone for years, I really shouldn’t complain.”

Still, as they walked back into their home, Lina couldn’t get over how empty and quiet it was, and she was suddenly felt rudderless. For the past twenty years there had always been a child around to tend to in some form or fashion. And while she had her work, it didn’t keep her busy enough to make up for the time that rearing her daughters had used. For the first time in ages, Lina wasn’t sure what to do with herself!

“I guess you’re going to have to help me remember.” Gourry said.

“Help you remember what?” Lina asked.

“What we did, back before we had the girls.”

Lina chuckled, “I was just thinking about the same thing. Well, if memory serves, I think we ate a lot of big dinners in little restaurants, just the two of us. And we watched sporting events, and saved the world a few times.”

He wrapped his arms around her and said, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.”

“You paying?” she asked.

“Sure.” He said as they linked arms and walked back out the door.

“You know, I do believe that we’re going to have a lot of fun getting to know each other again.” She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

He patted her arm as he said, “You’ll have no arguments from me there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, at one point I was convinced I would finish this before New Years, but now that’s up in the air because I got sick. Fortunately the Epilogue isn’t long, perhaps I’ll make it. In other news, I finally got over my writer’s block for _A Normal Girl_ and will work on that again once I finish up here. I’ve got the next chapter of _Slayers, Neverending_ typed out, but it’s not working yet. Hopefully the next time I look at it, it will click as to what is wrong and I can get that going again.
> 
> The Epilogue will be set during events in _Fate_ , which so far chronologically is the last in this series. So it will contain spoilers for later works in this series if you haven’t read them yet. Someone suggested I include a timeline of works in this series, so I will do that here. The confusing thing is that I wrote them out of chronological order, lol, so I’ll include the date they were written. Anyway, without further ado.
> 
> **Of Cursed Lands and Cursed Lands:** Takes place shortly after Lina defeats Luke Shabranigdu (L.S.): Gourry's past catches up to him when his brothers track him down and try to force him to return to the Elmekian Empire. 6/7/2015
> 
> **Lina’s Girls:** Takes place 17-20 years after L.S. 11/11/2018
> 
> **What Might Have Been:** Takes place roughly 20 years after L.S.: Decades after Hellmaster was defeated, Zel and Amelia reunite in a chance encounter and wonder what might have been. 8/21/2014
> 
> **Jealousy,** 27 years after L.S.: The always precarious balance of life is upset when Lina and Gourry's daughter finds a fertility statue. This is a background story for _The Red Shadow._ Going back and forth on an M or T rating, going with M to be safe. 2/18/2016
> 
> **The Red Shadow** , 33 years after L.S.: A cured Zelgadis goes to Zefiel City and reunites with Lina and Gourry. But they are hiding a secret that could lead to the destruction of their friendship. 8/1/2015
> 
> **The Storm** , 41 years after L.S.: Lina feels compelled to join the fight against Shabranigdu again when her children befriend a girl who she believes is the reincarnation of the daughter she lost. 1/22/2017
> 
> **Fate** , 41-55 years after L.S.: When his daughter is born with a shard of Shabranigdu in her soul, Zelgadis struggles with his hatred for Rezo and learning to love her. 2/7/2018
> 
> Anyway, there’s one more after _Fate_ , I have a rough draft of it, I am determined for it to be the last in this series. When re-reading I just had to answer questions of what Drake’s beef was with Dianna as well as how she managed to be a successful midwife despite her reputation. Hope you enjoyed this detour! The last work in this series will be titled, _The End. ___
> 
> __Really._ _


	12. Epilogue: The Marigolds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hard thing with this series is that I wrote so much into the future and out of chronological sequence, and I felt this scene was needed even if it doesn’t quite fit with this fic, but I didn’t want to do a separate small fic for it. So an epilogue was the best place I could think of to put it. It’s set during events in _Fate_ , and contains spoilers for quite a few fics. You have been warned.

Returning to Zefiel City, even eight years after Dianna’s murder, had been hard. But Lina would have never forgiven herself if she’d not see her ailing parents one last time. Still, it was not easy to walk through the streets of Zefiel City and to wonder if each person she passed had been part of the mob that had killed Dianna or not, so she spent most of her time with her parents, stepping out only to visit Dianna’s grave. She had expected it to be poorly tended. Luna admitted she seldom visited her grave and spent more time at her shrine and felt closer to her there. And despite all of the lives that Dianna had saved through her work, given how quickly the town had turned on her Lina was sure that her grave would be vandalized. So when she found that not only was it well maintained, but that someone had left a bouquet of marigolds there, she was moved to tears. 

Lina quickly ruled out her parents as suspects for having left them. Neither of them could leave the house anymore. She didn't have to puzzle long over who had tended her grave, though. When she returned to the store she found that Julienne was visiting, and she told Lina about how she had been horrified when Dianna had been murdered and how she and the other midwives had organized to care for her grave. Julienne was not the last person to seek her out. Women whose lives Dianna had saved and children she had delivered came by also, saying they wished they had heard of what was going on before it was too late to stop it. Morris had apparently been in with a group who had fixated on the mystery that Dianna presented and was quick to call on them when he’d discovered their secret, to tragic consequences. They assured her that most of the town was horrified by what had happened. Part of Lina wanted to question why, if that was the case, then had the people responsible never been brought to justice, but she let it go, because hearing their stories and learning that she, Gourry and the girls weren’t the only ones who missed Dianna warmed Lina and she didn’t want to drive it away.

The support of the midwives, who offered to help nurse her parents through their final days, helped her through that final separation. Given that Lina had spent years away from them she was surprised by how deeply she felt their loss. Still, she soon received a letter from Pomona that Attie was adjusting poorly to motherhood and they desperately needed her at home if at all possible, and the needs of her living daughters outweighed those of her deceased parents. She would simply have to recover by the time she reached Saillune City.

Before she left Zefiel City, though, she went for what would be one final visit to Dianna’s grave. She was a bit surprised to find that someone else was there, and when she drew close enough to recognize him a strange feeling she couldn’t identify rushed through her. Somehow, it had never occurred to her to wonder how Kenneth had reacted to the news of her death.

“Kenneth.” She acknowledged as she caught up to him and noted the bouquet of marigolds in his hands.

“Lina.” He said gruffly as he continued to stare at the headstone.

She stood beside him as she asked, “How’ve you been?”

“Busy.” He said. “I remarried two years ago. We have a small baby now. Noisy house. Large workload. You know how it is.”

“Yes.” She said.

“How has your family been?”

“It’s been a struggle. But we move forward.” Lina said, and for a brief moment she wondered if she should tell him that she had talked to Dianna and that she still existed in a fashion. But then she decided against it. He had a family that needed him.

They were silent for an awkward moment, and then he set the marigolds at Dianna’s grave. “You should have told me.”

“Huh?” Lina said.

“Knowing would have made all the difference, we could have made it work. When I found out…” He bit his tongue, “But then, when I think about what happened when everyone found out, part of me can’t blame you, or her, for never trusting me with your secret. Your fears were well founded, weren’t they? I’ve gone back and forth for years since she died over who to be mad at and who to blame. But I wish you’d given me the opportunity to prove that I wouldn’t have betrayed her.”

Lina stared at him for a moment in shock, and then she felt a familiar hot wetness on her cheeks. Kenneth wiped his eyes as he turned around, “Good bye Lina.”

Kenneth walked away as Lina wiped the tears from her eyes, but they quickly filled with more. From her years spent grieving Dianna she knew she would just have to wait until they dried up. She wasn’t sure how long she cried until they did, but when she had exhausted her tears she decided she would not live with such regrets. There was a new child in the family cursed like Dianna. All she could do now was take what they had learned from raising Dianna and to do better by Corentina. She looked towards the south, the direction Saillune City was in, turned towards it, and once again put one foot in front of the other towards her future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this out before 2018 ended! Good riddance 2018, I will not miss you one iota! Hoping for a better 2019!


End file.
